Southcoast Mom

Differing opinions

2011-01-30T11:15:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I had a "friend" remove me as a friend on Facebook because she didn't like my opinion about something. On the surface I find this humorous, but deep down I feel really sorry for this person. Obviously her mother never taught her tolerance and she chooses to live in a world only with people who think and share the same opinion as her.

I can't imagine living in a world like that. I absolutely LOVE diversity. I love different religions, different races, different types of marriages, different type of politics, different types of everything. I like a world that is so full of many different opinions and I specifically love people who are secure enough with themselves and their beliefs to be able to share their opinions as well as respect differing opinions.

Often times I think my opinion is correct (at least for me, not for everyone) and then I will get into a discussion with someone who holds a completely different opinion. I begin to see things from their perspective and sometimes this changes my opinion, impacting my life in amazing ways. Other time I hold strong in my own opinion but respect the differing opinion shared with me.

I feel this "friend" who removed me never learned to use her superpower. Perhaps her mother never taught her that either (how sad!). I don't know if she reads my blog or not (don't really care), but on the off chance that she does I will speak to her like I did when my children were four:

Dear "friend",

You have a superpower! Yes, you really do! You control the power of words! Can you believe it? You can choose if words hurt you, bother you, embrace you, make you happy, make you sad, make you mad. Only you hold the power on how words can affect you. If someone says something completely mean to you, you can choose to let those words bounce right off you and have zero effect on your life ... or you can choose to let those words hurt you, to weaken you, to have a negative impact on your life. It's your superpower. Take the positive words and opinions shared with you, embrace them, fuel your life with them and discard the negative without even a batter of your eyelashes. Be open to differing (sometimes negative) opinions, sometimes these can be the most powerful words of all. Listen, and decide if these words will have an impact on your life. Use your superpower. Share your superpower with others. Choose. Surround yourself with as many different types of people as possible. This will enrich your life beyond measure.

I also think this "friend" is rather hypocritical. A few months ago I did something that she completely 100% disagreed with. It took her like two seconds flat to email me (more than once) her opinion and why I was wrong. OK. I respect that. I read her opinions, I respected that she shared them with me, I thought about her point of view and then I moved on. I didn't remove her as my friend because she disagreed with me or thought what I was doing was wrong.

I think you have to be a very small person and of very weak character to get upset over an opinion you do not agree with. Very small indeed!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Owen's been accepted in Art Classes

2011-01-24T06:26:00.003-05:00

So ..... I found an art class for Owen! My friend Marni sends her daughter for art classes and I asked her about the teacher, how much it costs etc...

I called and the teacher explained Owen would need to come in for an "interview" and bring his current work. Oh boy! I set a date and time and told Owen. Of course he was super excited, but he was only really, really nervous. I kept telling him he has nothing to worry about, he's just like his Dad, everybody loves him.

On Saturday we headed out the interview and poor Owen was sweating bullets the whole ride over LOL. We met the teacher and both Owen and I *LOVE* her. The studio is so bright and welcoming and she has a wonderful personality. Owen's eyes lit up right away the moment we walked in and she starting talking.

I think this is going to be very good for Owen, he does have a natural talent that should be nurtured.

The lessons themselves are really, really inexpensive, but the pencils that Owen needed are professional colored pencils and cost $100 *ouch*.

He's worth every penny and more!

Rock on!
~Ann~

50 Book Challenge: The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan

2011-01-21T15:58:00.001-05:00

50 Book Challenge - Book 6: The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan

Ok, so I read the second Percy Jackson book. I don't really have much to say about it. I'm just not in LOVE with this series of books and that disappoints me.

I'm not itching to run out and pick up the next book in the series. BOO!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Owen's Art

2011-01-17T12:36:00.002-05:00

So a couple of weeks ago Owen's Art teacher, Mrs. Goulart, at Holy Family Holy Name stopped me and told me two things:

1. Your child is an absolute wonder to teach. He is a very good boy.

2. He is a very talented artist.

WHOA! As a mother these are the things I love to hear. Both of my children are very well behaved at school, they save all their bad behavior for at home LOL! When a teacher stops me and tells me stuff like this, my heart swells. I know in my soul that I must be doing something right as a parent. It makes all those moments of self-doubt and all those moments of thinking I am the worst mother on the planet go away.

She told me Owen did the most amazing self-portrait and that I should seriously consider getting him some art lessons to foster his talent. *sniffle*

Later that day I asked Owen about his self-portrait (which I haven't seen yet) and he said "Mom the only reason I could do it was because she gave me a mirror" ROFL!

This week I'll be looking around for an art teacher for Owen. Every child deserves to have their talent nurtured, so I'm going to make it happen. Stay tuned.

(BTW, the photo is from Owen's sketch pad, I was flipping through it looking at all his work. He did this one in charcoal. It's my favorite, I think it gives off a sense of sadness, like it was once a great church and it has a story to tell. It leaves me wondering what the story is. What is it that Owen sees?)

Rock on!
~Ann~

50 Book Challenge: She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb

2011-01-15T14:49:00.002-05:00

50 Book Challenge - Book 5: She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb

Ok, so on New Year's Day we went to a little family gathering at my Auntie Jane's. My cousin Elizabeth and I were discussing my 50 book challenge and different books. She recommended that I read She's Come Undone.

Now, here's the problem. I *love* it and I *hate* it when people recommend books for me.

I love it because I enjoy talking about different books with people, especially when they are passionate about a book or a specific author. It peaks my interest and makes me what to read the same book to see what the fuss was all about.

I hate it because if I do read the suggested book and I HATE it, I feel bad. Reading is such a personal thing. One person may find a book absolutely wonderful and another thinks it's horrible. It doesn't mean one person is right and the other is wrong, it's just that they have different perspectives. I remember when all my friends were reading The Lovely Bones, they thought it was the greatest book since sliced bread. I read it and absolutely HATED the book. Like REALLY, REALLY hated it.

At any rate, Elizabeth seemed really passionate about this book and this particular author. So I went home that night and put the book on hold at the library.

A few days later I picked up the book and quickly became wrapped up in a very sad story about Dolores, a girl who has a rough life, dealing with divorce as a child, rape, obesity, bullying, AIDS, and death.

There is no mystery in this book, no great race, no bold-in-your-face messages to be delivered. It's just a story about a young girl who reaches rock bottom and somehow drags herself up to finally find a sense of happiness.

As soon as I began reading this book, like within the first few pages, I was overwhelmed with a sense of this being a true story and this girl's story deserved to be told, deserved to be read. I felt obligated to listen. That is a very hard feeling for an author to get from a reader, it's not something I feel very often.

I guess I'll have to hook up with Elizabeth more often to see what she's been reading *wink*

Rock on!
~Ann~

"Just take a sleeping pill, I take Lunesta"

2011-01-03T07:05:00.005-05:00

Ok, so as many of you know I have been complaining about the malfunctioning fog horn. Last week (on Wednesday or Thursday) I could see clear to Cuttyhunk, 12 miles out to sea. Clear, bright, dry .. and the Fog Horn sounded for 16 hours straight.

Then yesterday I woke up and the Fog was a thick as thieves. I couldn't even see the telephone poll across the street from my house. That's how thick it was, yet the Fog Horn didn't sound at all.

The Fog horn is obviously broken, but the Coast Guard thinks it is working just fine. Anyway, I have been a raving lunatic on Facebook about it. Someone actually said to me "Just take a sleeping pill, I take Lunesta".

Now, first of all, I don't take any drugs unless absolutely necessary. I don't even take aspirin or ibuprofen unless I really need to. I never take any cold medicines. I just don't believe in taking drugs. I never have. I think it's bad for your body and bad for your immune system. That's just my belief.

However, for fun I decided to see what Lunesta is all about. It's a drug that helps you fall asleep and stay asleep. Here are the side effects:

"Walking, eating, driving, or engaging in other activities while asleep without remembering it the next day have been reported. Other abnormal behaviors include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations, and confusion".

Also (found HERE):

1. Headache
2. Drowsiness
3. Infections, such as UTI
4. Dry Mouth
5. Dizziness
6. Heartburn
7. Pain
8. Nausea or vomiting
9. Accidental Injury (presumably from all the possible activity while "sleeping")
10. Diarrhea
11. Decreased Sex Drive
12. Breast Enlargement in Men (I'm sure that's fun LOL)
13. Painful Periods
14. Chest Pain
15. Anxiety
16. Suicidal Thoughts
17. Depression
18. Sensitivity to the Sun
19. High Blood Pressure
20. Decreased or Increased appetite
21. Weight loss or weight gain
22. Hiccups
23. Hair Loss

Ok, so I'll have no sex drive, be bald, gain weight, act aggressively, think about killing myself, vomit, and be drowsy while having chest pains and a headache ... but I'll sleep all night!

Um, no Thank-You (and quite frankly - yes I know you read my blog - I think you are absolutely INSANE to be taking that drug!).

Rock on!
~Ann~

New Year's Resolutions 2011!

2011-01-02T12:09:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year!

So, many people make New Year's Resolutions and then never keep them. I think it's because they aim to high, of course there is nothing wrong with aiming high, if you are strong willed enough to stay the course and see it through.

However, if you tend to have no will-power then I think it's best to set a lower reasonable goal, something you can accomplish and feel good about. Then keep working towards your ultimate goal.

Of course that's just my unwanted opinion LOL

Anywhoo ... in 2009 I decided to lose weight. I lost nearly 100 pounds *check*. In 2010 I decided to "pay it forward" and have helped lots of people on their own fitness journey *check*.

Now 2011 is upon me and I need to set my goals for the year. Here they are:

Resolutions:
1. Become more financially stable (pay off cars, any credit card debt) and continue to live waaaaaaaaaay below our means.

2. Cut out people in my life who annoy or distract me. I don't need negative people in my life, or people who suck energy from me, or people who tell me "I can't" do something. I want to be surrounded by people who positively influence me.

Goals:
1. Complete 2 Half-Marathons.
2. Complete 2 Full Marathons.
3. Complete 1 Ultra Marathon.

I think all of these things are within my reach and I know I will do my best!

What are your resolutions?

Rock on!
~Ann~

50 Book Challenge: The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

2011-01-01T09:02:00.002-05:00

50 Book Challenge - Book 4: Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

Ok, so someone with a child the same age as my own mentioned to me that they read all the books their child reads. This got me thinking, do I?

Do I really know what they are reading? For the most part yes, when they read the older books, like Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, or even newer books like Twilight and Harry Potter.

However, I quickly realized that there are lots of tween series that I have not read. Owen received the first couple books in the Percy Jackson series and since I finished my last book over the weekend and had no way to get to the library to get a new one. I decided to steal his book and read it (LOL)

I actually found this book Interesting. I *LOVED* Greek Mythology in high school and this book brings together the modern world along with Mount Olympus and the Olympians. Once Percy learns who his father is (Poseidon) he becomes the modern day Hercules and goes on a quest to ultimately save the world.

This was was easy reading and kept my interest enough that I will certainly read the next book in the series (eventually), but I was a bit disappointed that I found ZERO positive lessons in this book for young readers.

When I look at other Tween series, like Twilight for example, I found lessons about love, friendship, kindness and even abstinence until marriage (imagine that!).

Harry Potter is loaded with lessons and positive messages, too many to even name, but Percy Jackson doesn't have any. If fact it has negative messages - willy nilly sex with mortals, cheating spouses, father's who abandon their children.

I just can't help but thinking there had to be a better way to deal with some of these issues, some creative way (like making vampires "vegetarians" in Twilight).

Whatever. I still enjoyed the book and I'll still let my children read it, despite my minor disappointment.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #1 December 31st!

2010-12-31T18:58:00.002-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment #1 - December 31st!

My absolute favorite moment of 2010 is right NOW, December 31st. I am home with my family, watching movies, reading books, snuggling, eating cupcakes ... closing out another year.

We are together, we are healthy, we are happy. We have not only survived another year together (don't get me wrong, there certainly were a few bumps in the road), but we made it a GREAT year and have even bigger and better plans for 2011.

I love my husband. I love my children. I love my life. I am truly, truly blessed.

Happy New Year!
Rock on!
~Ann~

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #2 Finishing a Marathon

2010-12-31T10:24:00.002-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment # 2 - Finishing the BayState Marathon!

So, as you many have guessed finishing a 26.2 mile race comes in high on my list of Best Moments of 2010! It truly was an amazing accomplishment for many, many reason. First, it shows that when you put your mind, body, and soul into something you are capable of achieving absolutely ANYTHING!

Secondly, I went from fat to fit in less than 18 months. I could hardly walk up the stairs without losing my breath in January 2009 and by October 2010 I was able to complete a marathon.

Third, I learned SO much about myself, about friendship, about living life ... during this marathon.

My circle of friends has grown, my passion for living has grown and I owe much of that to crossing that 26.2 finish line. Many people told me my life would be changed forever after running a marathon. I didn't believe them. I figured I would still be the same person I was, the same person I have always been once I crossed over that finish line. I was wrong. I am different, very, very different. Once you push your body and mind to limits previously considered unattainable the entire world opens it's arms up for you to conquer. My quest has only begun ... 2011 will an amazing year!

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #3 Thirteen years of marriage!

2010-12-30T19:55:00.003-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment # 3 - Thirteen years of Marriage!

So, October 18 2010 marked thirteen years of marriage for David and I. Honestly I can hardly believe it's been thirteen years. It's gone by SOOOOOOO fast.

I am very blessed to have David in my life. He is a wonderful husband and an amazing father. He truly completes me. I look forward to another 13 years with him!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #4 Wendy's Video Gift!

2010-12-30T19:23:00.002-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment #4 - Wendy's Video Gift!

This is the ABSOLUTE best gift I received in 2010 ... and if truth be told probably THE nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Please read my original BLOG on this video HERE!

ROCK ON!

~Ann~

50 Book Challenge: Smoke Screen by Sandra Brown

2010-12-29T17:07:00.002-05:00

50 Book Challenge - Book 3: Smoke Screen by Sandra Brown.

So my mother-in-law read this book (she's a constant reader, too) and suggested I might like it. Dutifully I picked it up at the library the next day, after all I am the favorite daughter-in-law ... oh wait I'm the ONLY daughter-in-law now. Looks like I won that contest *retracts claws* LOL

The story centers on Britt Shelley a news reporter who finds herself in a scandal when she wakes up next to a dead police officer, Jay Burgess.

From there unfolds a tale of heroics, deep betrayal, and redemption. There are many twists and turns. I thought I had figured out who the villian was behind all the killings, but I was waaaaaay offf base, which was a nice surprise.

This book I place in my "easy mindless reading" category. I don't mean that insultingly, it was a nice, easy read that kept me on teh edge of my seat, but it doesn't make you think about life or question your own existence. It doesn't leaving you with any serious questions to ponder.

I was excited to learn that this book has been made into a Lifetime movie that will air on January 15! I can hardly wait to watch it!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #5 HFHN Track Team at BWS!

2010-12-29T09:18:00.002-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment #6 - HFHN Track Team at BWS!

So, my dear friend Wendy and I started a track team at Holy Family Holy Name in March 2010. The interest from parents an students was AMAZING! We had over 40 kids apply for 25 spots!

We started running at the end of March. The kids loved it. I love it. I finally felt this was the way I was supposed to "pay it forward" for all the help I was given during my weight loss. I was there to help inspire children (and their parents). It felt right.

It October the entire HFHN track team ran their first 3.1 mile race together, the BWS 5K. Each kids did absolutely amazing. It was wonderful to see all those blue shirts out there representing HFHN. My heart swelled and I still get chills when I think about how each child crossed that finish line - with a big freaking SMILE on their face!

Rock on!

~Ann~

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #6 Cape Relay!

2010-12-27T08:56:00.002-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment #6 - Finishing the 2010 Cape Relay!

Oh, this was a moment for the history books. The Cape Relay was a 200+ mile relay race from Quincy, MA to Provincetown, MA.

I was the least experienced and weakest runner. I STRUGGLED through the entire thing, but Wendy, Magda, EB, Kevin and Jim were all gracious, kind, encouraging and the absolute best teammates anyone could ever ask for.

I ran three different legs totaling 28.2 miles. It was torture .... and can I just say HOLY FREAKING HILLS! All three of my legs were constant hills. I never knew the Cape was so damn hilly!

While I'm not sure I will ever do another long distance relay race, it's just not my thing. Sleeping in a van, not showering, feeling sick .... all those things were SO worth it. SO worth crossing that finish line.

The picture is our entire team crossing the finish line together. P.R.I.C.E.L.E.S.S.

(Oh, and did I mention we came in first place in our division?) *wink*

Rock on!
~Ann~

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #7 Pedicures with Emma!

2010-12-25T11:54:00.005-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment #7 - Pedicures with Emma!

June 12, 2010 ... Emma ran in her first race, the GNBTC Youth mile. I was very, very proud of her. As a surprise and a nice treat for a job well done, I took Emma for her very first pedicure. She was SUPER excited.

The look on her face when the chair started massaging her back was priceless. She smiled the entire time, totally in heaven. I will never forget this moment with my daughter.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #8 Dave's 40th!

2010-12-24T07:26:00.004-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment #8 - Dave's Surprise 40th Birthday!

Dave turned 40 this year. He is such a good husband and father. I want for nothing, he expects very little of me (something I adore), and he supports me in all my shenanigans, and trust me I pull alot of shenanigans!

Dave asks for very little and he is always the first one there when someone (friend or stranger) needs help. So I decided to do something special for him. Somehow I managed to rent the Catwalk, send out a gazillion invitations, and get his brother up from Florida ... all without Dave knowing. He was TOTALLY surprised and had no idea. My heart swelled when he was shocked. It was a great night with family, friends, drinks, and lots and lots of laughs.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #9 Tattoos!

2010-12-23T15:14:00.003-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment #9 - Getting my new Tattoo!

I completed my weight loss by the end of 2009 and 2010 was filled with many fitness adventures.

The first one was finishing the New Bedford Half-Marathon in March 2010. Completing the half-marathon was, in my eyes, the culmination of my weight loss. I wanted to get a new tattoo to not only commemorate my weight loss, my half-marathon, but also something that would tell my story - my weight loss and fitness journey. Something that could be an ongoing work of art.

I decided to get a "13.1" on my left shoulder, with the "point" being a cherry blossom. I think I am a Buddhist (much to the dismay of my Catholic husband and mother-in-law) and the cherry blossom is just a perfect representation of the Buddhist faith and life in general.

In September 2010 I completed the Salem Wicked Half-Marathon and in October 2010 I completed the Lowell FULL Marathon! These events earned me two new cherry blossoms *yay*

As I complete more races I will add more cherry blossoms, with lots and lots of black scrolling. Eventually the tattoo will run all the way down my back in a whimsical fashion that tells my story.

I am hoping 2011 will bring me five new cherry blossoms: 2 half-marathons (13.1), 2 full marathons (26.2), and one ultra-marathon (31). *keeping my fingers crossed*

Rock on!
~Ann~

50 Book Challenge: The Long Run by Matt Long

2010-12-22T17:42:00.004-05:00

50 Book Challenge - Book 2: The Long Run by Matt Long.

My friend Wendy read this book while on the way to Vegas to compete in the Rock n Roll marathon. She said she had never been so moved my a book. Now I read a lot (I know that is shocking LOL) and very few books have touched my soul.

This book claims that absolute number one spot in the "books that have touched my soul" category. I have NEVER EVER in my life been so touched by a book. I shed tears on virtually every single page, tears from sadness, tears from horror, tears from happiness, tears from anger, tears from every emotion humanly possible. From cover to cover.

The story centers on Matt Long, a NYC Firefighter (a 911 responder to boot), who also happens to be an avid runner, and an Iron Man. Sadly a few weeks after running the best marathon of his life (a 3:13, qualifying him for the most exclusive marathon in the Country, the Boston Marathon) he gets run over by a bus - literally - run over.

Doctors give him a 5% chance of living and in this book he details every painful (and sometimes embarrassing moment). He takes us through his journey from from death's door step to once again becoming a marathoner and ultimately an Iron Man again.

This isn't a book for "runners" it is a book for everyone. We all get caught up in life's little things - how we're going to pay the bills, a messy house, minor headaches, etc... None of our petty issues even compare to Matt's story. He found the courage to walk again, to run again, to LIVE ... and if he can do that than each and every one of us can find the courage to deal with whatever curve balls life throws at us. We should probably do it with minimal complaining.

I urge each of you to read this book, I know it put life in perspective for me, profoundly touching me and changing me. Just make sure you have a box of tissues when you start reading!

P.S. Of course I googled Matt Long and came across his foundation, The I Will Foundation. This is the quote on the homepage:

No longer will I wish. No longer will I want. From now on I WILL.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G

Rock on!

~Ann~

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #10 Crowd Surfing

2010-12-21T18:12:00.006-05:00

*So, as we begin to close out 2010, I'm going to blog about my 10 best moments of 2010. Of course it was very difficult to only choose 10 moments. This year has been a whirlwind of fun, fitness, family, and new friends. I am truly blessed.*

Moment #10 - Crowd Surfing at the Pour Farm.

So my dear friend Wendy BEGGED and I mean BEGGED me to go out with her and her husband, Mike on Thanksgiving Eve. They were going to see an Iron Maiden cover band, Iron Mustache play at the Pour Farm.

Now I have a long standing tradition of not going out on Thanksgiving Eve. That night just always brings trouble and I am usually around it LOL. However I absolutely adore Wendy and Mike so I decided to go.

A few days before I was all concerned about what to wear. I mean what does one wear to an Iron Maiden concert? I know the music is heavy metal and loud and I bet a safe choice would simply be to wear jeans and a black t-shirt, but I put the question out on facebook anyway and Mike responded with "Just be yourself" .... so I broke out the sequined heels, skinny jeans, and hair bow and away I went. Of course I stuck out like a sore thumb, but I was me.

I had never been to the Pour Farm before and expected it to be a dirty hole in the wall, but when I walked in I was pleasantly surprised. While it is small, the bar was really nice and clean. I also recognized quite a few faces from the gym (and I'll just leave it at that *wink*).

The night moves along and I proceed to get PLASTERED (damn you Sex on the Beach) while having a nice conversation with Wendy and my friend Ann-Marie ... and somehow I end up, um crowd surfing. I don;t remember actually getting lifted up but I do remember having an absolute freaking blast when I was up there. What a feeling LOL!

Finally a bouncer and my husband pulls me down and neither of them are too pleased. The bouncer yells at me and in my drunken stupor I tell my husband that I want to do that again ... which causes him to yell at me.

Despite having David a bit irritated with me, this was a GREAT FREAKING MOMENT!

Rock on!
~Ann~

50 Book Challenge: Innocent by Scott Turow

2010-12-19T18:56:00.006-05:00

50 Book Challenge - Book 1: Innocent by Scott Turow.

Ok, so ..... many, many, many years ago (like twenty years ago) I read Presumed Innocent by Scott Turow. You might remember the movie, with super hottie Harrison Ford? The book was really, really good and kept me on the edge of my seat right through the last chapter.... and this one of the few books that translated into a great movie.

I was WICKED excited to learn Turow had written a sequel, Innocent. I placed the book on hold at the library. I was number 372 in the queue *sigh* and anxiously awaited my turn!

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity the email alerting me that the book was available popped into my email box. I instantly felt like a seven year old who just received the best birthday present ever.

I picked up my book the next day. Of course I wanted to drive straight home, hop in the bath and start reading, but sadly I had to be Mom first and volunteer at school, take the kids home, feed them, help with homework ... *sigh* Doesn't everyone know reading is much more important?

Finally, later that night when the house was quiet and everyone was asleep I was able to read ... and I was underwhelmed. *pout*

The first few chapters didn't "grab" me and I struggled with continuing. I could put the book down and that is never a good sign. A couple of weeks later I finally finished the book. I think I just expected more. The first book was SO good, SO compelling. I wanted the same from this book. I also wanted some discussion about the events in the first book. I wanted Rusty and Barbara to discuss the fact that she is a murderer and how that has impacted their lives for the past 20 years, but there was no such discussion. I think that's why I expected from the book and when I didn't get it I just couldn't be in love with the story or characters like I had once been.

Oh well, I read it. I'm glad I did ... and now book 1 is complete.

Rock on!
~Ann~

BOM Marathon Party!

2010-12-13T15:12:00.006-05:00

December, 11 2010 BOM Marathon Party!

I was truly, truly honored to be invited to the BOM Marathon Party. I don't really consider myself a member true of BOM. I'm not as fast as them, I don't run as much or as often ... and I've only run with Wendy and EB. But somehow I find myself to be a part of this group and each of them had touched my life in amazing ways.

So, starting with Lynn (on the left in pink) ... Lynn is one of the FASTEST girls in the area. She has a natural ability for running ... and she is humble about it. She does not look down on slower runners, instead she is supportive and encouraging. You have no idea how much that means to a runner like me - a former obese girl who runs for fun to stay in shape.

Next is Wendy. In March 2009, I had lost about 30 pounds when Wendy said "why don't you come running"? For weeks she would meet a group of us a Buttonwood Park and "teach" us to run. She did this out of the kindness of her heart and has taught me how important it is to give back, that it is OK to be a fun runner (LOL!), and more importantly she has taught me to believe in myself.

On to Gretchen! Like Lynn, Gretchen has an amazing natural ability and she is humble and kind. She has been so encouraging to me and supportive. She doesn't look down upon me for being a slow runner. Gretchen makes my top 10 list of kind things said to me. When I explained how scared I was to run the marathon and how upset I was with myself for not being able to do more, she said "Ann, look how far you have come. I've been running for 15 years and it took me nearly 15 years before I ran my first marathon. You have done it all in a such a short time. You will get better". It still brings me to tears when I think her words.

Next to Gretchen is Patty. I know Patty from the gym. She is SO nice and helpful. I remember her telling me that she ran a marathon in a little over 3 hours. I was shocked. Can you imagine? I told her it would take me at least 5 and she didn't flinch, instead she said there is nothing wrong with that and she encouraged me. She's a fantastic runner and an inspiration for sure!

Now we have EB. What can I say about EB? The girl changed my life and she continues to make me a better person each and every day. I absolutely adore her. She turned me into a marathoner, she is a much better runner than I am, yet she slowed down, ran beside me. Encouraged me. Building a friendship with her has been one of the greatest gifts I have received this year. No matter what she will always be my sole sister. *I'm totally crying here because there are no words to describe how I feel about EB and what an impact she has had on my life*

JULIE! Oh Julie. Having Julie as a friend is a wild ride. This girl is beautiful, funny, gracious ... and she laughs at herself! Whatever pops into her head she will say. I just love that about her. She is an amazing runner, but like the others will encourage those who are slower. There is never, ever a dull moment when Julie is around. She makes me laugh so hard my side and stomach often hurt. Every time she tells me that I am skinny I want to thrown my arms around her and cry.

(next is me)

On my left is Kathy! I love Kathy. She has the same issues/problems that I do and she has a heart of gold. She struggles with her weight, like I do .. but like me she keeps at it. I admire her determination, her drive, her kindness. She ran her first half-marathon this year and she did AMAZING! She thinks she did bad, but the truth is just having the courage to get out there and try means more to me than running a super fast half-marathon. She is truly an amazing person.

In the back we have Jay and Mark. Oh, these two make me laugh. I adore Mark's spin class even though it kicks my ass each and every time. I love how he is willing to take a few minutes of his time and talk to me about running. He encourages me, he talked to me about hydrating and eating, about staying the course. He understands how hard it has been for me (being formerly obese himself).It has been a true pleasure getting to know Mark.

Jay - Jay has a special place in my heart and claims the number 1 spot on my "10 best things ever said to me" list. David and I attended a trivia night event for his charity at Kirby's Pub. After Trivia we were all just sitting around (drinking of course LOL) and he held up his glass to me and said "You know Ann, I give you lots of credit, you did this all on your own. I couldn't do that". I will never, ever forget those words. When you lose weight, and get HEALTHY, get FIT, very few people understand the struggle. I'm not just skinny, I'm aerobically fit. Jay understands how hard this is - and he had some of the world's best trainers to help him. I only had myself. To hear those words meant so much to me. It was just sort of confirmation that I actually did it ... and people noticed. I deserved to be skinny.

.... somehow someway I find myself a part of this rag tag group of people. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have such amazing friends.

Rock on!
~Ann~

House Rules by Jodi Picoult

2010-12-08T13:27:00.005-05:00

Ok, so last night I finished reading House Rules by Jodi Picoult. Overall I really, really enjoyed this book. The story is set in Vermont and centers on a boy with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism. It really gives an in depth look at how autism not only affects the child, but also everyone else around them.... and what would (or could) happen when a child with Asperger's is accused of a very serious crime.

While I know people who have children with Asperger's, I am not close to any of them, so I really have no understanding of what daily life is like. This book gave me a better understanding, I learned so much about Asperger's and really got to "watch" a family be torn apart and come back together when one is accused of a crime.

I was able to figure out the plot pretty much right from the beginning, who got killed, how they died, etc... So I was a tiny bit disappointed in that, but this is not really a mystery. I was also a bit frustrated that no one thought to simply sit Jacob down and ask him what happened, but then again I supposed it would have been a very short story had that happened.

As I was reading the book, I was struck with the thought that maybe Autism and Asperger's is simply evolution. I mean, man is still evolving right? Evolution has no definitive end time, does it? Those with Asperger's see the world in such a different manner and are often extremely intelligent ... is this just man evolving? I don't know.

My favorite quote from the book: "Instead of dreaming a miracle, you learn to make your own".

Isn't that a great quote. Often times people are divided into two group, those that make their lives happen and those who sit around waiting for life to happen to them. I believe in being the first type of person, so when I complain about something I don't just complain. I *DO* something. I call my City Councilor, I research for an answer, I make a change within myself or my family, I hold my children to consequences of their actions.

Life truly, truly is what you make it.

Anywho, check out my Autism gear!

Rock on!

~Ann~

Bruce Duarte, Jr. New Bedford Ward 4 City Councilor

2010-12-06T06:47:00.004-05:00

This is New Bedford City Councilor Bruce Duarte, Jr. It is my personal opinion that Mr. Duarte does not deserve to be re-elected to his position and I hope the residents of Ward 4 will show him the door in his next run for office.

Let me explain, my children's school is in Ward 4. I am a very active member of the PTO and we are holding a "Get Fit" Health Fair in May. As part of the health fair we want to hold a "Smile Mile" - a one mile fun run for children.

Since the school is located in the heart of the City, I needed help from the City Council to deal with street closings, officer details, etc....

I placed a call to Mr. Duarte on Thursday December 2nd. He never bothered to call me back. I was not shocked that a politician didn't bother to return a phone call, but I was saddened and told the office staff at school. They sort of laughed and said that he has NEVER ONCE returned a phone call to the school when they needed help. Really, Mr. Duarte? The great people of Ward 4 put you in office and now you can't be bothered to return their phone calls? and to a school full of children, no less?

In my opinion, that is shameful and you should be embarrassed by your behavior. You were elected to do a job, to help the people and businesses in Ward 4. Perhaps you forgot this or perhaps you don't really care? I don't know, either way I urge the constituents of Ward 4 to boot your ass to the curb where it belongs.

I love the City and the last thing we need is another politician who isn't going to actually work. The good news is that I called a very popular Councilor-at-Large and he stepped up to the plate and is going to work with us - he is going to do YOUR job, Mr. Duarte .. and I'll be sure to let as many people as I can know that.

BTW, do you know how to get in touch with your City Councilor? If not here is the City Website with a list of all Councilors and their phone numbers. Perhaps those in Ward 4 could give him a call and express their disappointment, don't worry it will be a one way conversation, it seems he can't be bothered to return phone calls *wink*

Rock On!
~Ann~

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

2010-12-05T14:30:00.004-05:00

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE this book! First of all what a concept ... Seth Grahame-Smith is an absolute genius for taking one of histories most well known figures and turning his life story into a vampire story. Pure genius!

I tend to enjoy books that are set in a historical time periods to begin with and I love vampire stories, so I was curious to see how this story would evolve. Could this concept really work without destroying the ideals Abraham Lincoln represents and without making vampires into pussies? (a la Twilight - don't get me wrong I LOVE Twilight, but they are um, "soft" vampires.)

I got about 20 pages into the book and the answer was a resounding YES! This concept could totally work ... and it did. I couldn't put the book down and read it in a just a few days.

I don't want to spoil the story line for you, so a brief description of the plot would be: Abraham's mother is killed by a Vampire and Abraham sets out to rid the world of Vampires. He learns that not all Vampires are created equal, some are bad and some are basically good. Vampires play an integral role in shaping America, slavery and the Civil War. All fascinating. I seriously cannot rave enough about this book. I hope you will read it too and tell me what you think!

My favorite quote from this book: "Judge us not equally, Abraham. We all may deserve hell, but some of us sooner than others”

Rock on!
~Ann~

The Policeman's Ball

2010-11-28T11:59:00.004-05:00

November 20, 2010 - The Policeman's Ball.

Ok, so this year the Policeman's Ball was held at The Century House. We went to our friend Kim & Craig's house before the Ball to have a few cocktails. Craig was serving vodka. This translates into me being drunk before I even stepped foot into the Century House. Not a good start LOL!

There was a group of 12 of us and we all squeezed into one table. This of course led us to be THE loudest table at the event - big shocker LOL. More than one time someone from the Board of Director's came over to mention that we were not invited back next year - joking of course. They even offered to get us a greyhound bus for the ride home LOL!

What I love about this event is how much fun I have with this group of friends. They are all beautiful, funny, smart and know how to party. Nobody gets sick or fights with their spouse. It's a happy group of people. I think I could have fun with them anywhere.

Before dinner starts, an announcement is made introducing some of the cops and important people in the audience. The night before I had called my City Councilor, Joe Lopes because the freaking Fog Horn was SO loud, and getting louder, it was beyond ridiculous. It was going off all day and all night - and there wasn't any fog. It was also getting louder and louder as the days went on. It was keeping my children up at night. So I called him to see what the hell was going on. We had a nice chat and a few laughs.

I had never met Mr. Lopes, so I was pleasantly surprised when they introduced him at the Ball. Right away (already two sheets to the wind) I decided to go over and introduce myself *sigh*.

I waited until after dinner (when I was sufficiently smashed) and stumbled over to his table. I tapped on his shoulder and said "Are you Mr. Lopes?". "Yes" he replied. "Hi, I'm Ann Sylvia Fog Horn Girl"..... Yep that's what I said. He busted out laughing and we again had a nice chat. I, of course, was flirty and wasted and really had no business accosting the man. So, what's a girl to do? Ask City Councilor Brian Gomes to take a picture of me and Mr. Lopes. Yep, that's what I did *sigh* Right in front of Mayor Lang *double sigh*.

After that incident I danced with my friends and my husband and had a really great time. Lots of laughing, lots of drinking, shots, funny pictures. I can hardly wait until next year.

P.S. I have left the debauchery out of this blog. No need to ruin your image of me LOL

Rock on!
~Ann~

Rub my belly

2010-11-28T11:55:00.003-05:00

"Mommy, look at me, I'm so cute with my big green eyes. Rub my belly, please." - Love Smooch.

Conversations in the car ...

2010-11-19T09:17:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I love driving my kids to and from school. It's when we have some of our best conversations. I have a routine for the drive home. I ask each child to tell me one thing about their day. Usually they go on and on about one thing or another and sometimes they don;t want to talk and say something like "I had pizza for lunch". Either way I fine with whatever they say, it's more that I want to keep the lines of communication open and have them used to being able to talk to me at the end of the day.

The mornings are different, I have no routine, sometimes it's a silent ride because everyone is tired, sometimes we see something on the ride in that sparks a conversation. This morning we were listening to Fun 107 and "Just the Way you are" by Bruno Mars came on. Both kids were singing the song and I got to wondering if they understood the words or if they were just saying them. So this is how the conversation went:

Mom: This is a great song. Emma this is how a boy should treat you and Owen this is how you should treat a girl.

Emma: (with attitude) Seriously Mom!

Mom: Yes, Emma "seriously". A boy should adore you just the way you are and never want to change you. If he tries to change you then he is not a good choice in a partner because YOU ARE amazing just the way you are.

Owen: Emma, Mom is right. Daddy loved Mom before she started all this running

(awww, my sweet Owen gets it *tears*)

Emma: *rolls eyes*

Mom: Owen you should treat a girl just like Daddy treats me

Owen: I will Mom, even though you can be a real pain sometimes.

(boo! I'm not a pain, Ok, I'm a pain *sigh*)

.... and that was a great moment in the car!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Spooky Run 2010

2010-11-15T16:39:00.004-05:00

October 31, 2010 - The GNBTC Spooky Run!

A few weeks before Halloween Emma asked me if I would run the Spooky Run 5K with her. I was planning on running it alone. I haven't run a 5K by myself since August. I've been running all the races with other people or track students to help them. I was a bit curious to see if my time has improved from all the marathon training - but of course I didn't want to discourage my daughter so I told her I would be happy to run with her.

The vast majority of runners dress in full costume and there is kids "fun run". It really is a nice family event. Emma and I decided to get our "feminist" on and dressed as Super Girl and Wonder Woman. We wore matching side pony tails with huge red flower bows.

Emma really struggled with this race. She has run an entire 5K before with very little effort, but this time her head wasn't in the game. Right before the first mile marker she needed to stop and take a walk break. I knew at that point that she just wasn't feeling it. We struggled through the next two miles and when she finally saw we were close to the finish line she pepped up a bit. For the last 100 yards we held hands and sprinted it in. I was teary-eyed.

I simply cannot explain what a wondering feeling it is to complete something with my child that most people don't even have the courage to try. I know I will forever treasure my moments running with Emma. The funny times, like when we came across a dead bird - Emma was mortified and humored all at the same time. The hard times when Emma was doubting herself and struggling to succeed. The uplifting moments when I was telling Emma she is a strong, beautiful girl who will grow into an amazing woman ... and finally the moment of success when we crossed the finish line hand in hand. Mother and daughter. Runners.

I hope someday Emma reads this and learns how much those moments mean to me. We fight ALOT, but I know someday we will become the best of friends and I hope I can run with her well into my sixties, I hope I can someday run with Emma and her child.

*tears*
~Ann~

Halloween - Medeiros Style

2010-11-11T07:18:00.005-05:00

October 30, 2010 - The Annual Medeiros Halloween Party!

Ok, so this is one of my favorite parties EVER! We all dress up for Halloween and head over to Paula's house - which is STUNNING! Almost everyone there is a couple, so there are lots of cute couples costumes.

David and I were a cop and a prisoner. There were some pretty creative costumes I have to say. One girl was dressed up as a fireman and her date was the fire victim, all smokey with burnt clothing. I thought that was really, really cute.

There is an open bar and lots and lots of food. Music is blaring, people are dancing and playing pool. It's just a really good time with great friends and lots of laughs.

Last year we had to leave early because Owen was throwing up, so I didn't get to tour the whole house. All year long Wendy and Julie talked about the shower, how just the shower alone was bigger than some rooms. I just HAD to see it this year.

Julie and Wendy took me up there and OMG! This shower is like heaven on earth. I could have lots of fun in there ROFL.

Of course we had to take a picture in the shower. Why not, right. I swear the shower alone is bigger than my kitchen. It's craziness. That's why I love Paula so much, she leads a BIG life, a full life and makes no apologies for it. I think I might want to be Paula when I grow up.

Rock on!
~Ann~

My Tattoo, part 2.

2010-11-06T13:04:00.003-04:00

Ok, so it may shock some of you that I like tattoos! I got my first tattoo when I was 22, it is a small sunflower on my left hip. It's silly really and has absolutely ZERO meaning to me. I am going to use Wrecking Balm to remove it.

As you all know I went on a weight-loss journey that resulted in me running. In March 2010, a few short few weeks after my 1 year fitness anniversary I ran my first half-marathon. That was a defining moment in my life, just finishing that race was the culmination of my weight loss. Running half-marathons became part of me. I knew it was something I would do for the rest of my life, God willing.

In June, my friend Lee-Ann decided to have an Ink party and she invited me. I knew right away that I wanted to do something to celebrate my weight loss, to mark my first half-marathon and my continuing fitness journey. This is what I got:

I had the distance, 13.1 miles with a cherry blossom as the "point" put on my left shoulder. The cherry blossom has great meaning. It represents life in that life is something of great beauty, yet is very quick and passing and in the end is full of suffering. This comes from very core Buddhist teachings that all life is suffering and one must simply give in to the suffering and let go. Through this letting go the suffering ends and people can achieve enlightenment.... in other words, one never knows when they are going to die, so instead of worrying live life to it's fullest each and every day.

When I was obese, I didn't live life to it's fullest. Now I am living. Eventually I decided that each time I complete a half or full marathon I would add another cherry blossom. I liked the idea of this tattoo that I found while searching the Internet:

I like how this design goes all the way down her back, I like how the colors are mostly black, pinks, greens. I LOVE the black scroll work, although some of it it too thick for me, it looks almost tribal. I want my scrolling to be more feminine. I also think it covers too much of the back, I think I don't want my design as wide, but I'm not sure yet.

What I love it that my tattoo will be added to every year, it will grow organically as I stay on my fitness journey.

On October 30th, 2010 Lee-Ann had another Ink Party *YAY* I was able to get to get two new cherry blossoms. One for the Wicked Half Marathon and one for the Lowell Baystate *full* marathon! I also wanted to start the black scroll work. Here's what it looks like now:

It's just the beginning of a tattoo that will take YEARS to complete. I guess I hope it's never completed. I hope I am always striving to complete another race. Perhaps I want it to look a bit unfinished, because there is always more life to live ... another race, another story, another cherry blossom!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Boo at the Zoo

2010-11-06T12:23:00.002-04:00

Thursday October 28, 2010 - Boo at the Zoo!

Ok, so my children have always loved The Buttonwood Zoo, even now at the ages of 11 and 9. We always find something to smile about at the zoo. Sometimes it's the otter doing funny things while swimming around or the horses making funny noises. It's just fun.

Of course my children wanted to attend Boo at the Zoo. We never get to go to the zoo at night time, so it's a special treat to see the animals at night.

Thursday turned out to be a beautiful fall day with the weather reaching into the 60's. The weathermen were reporting that a cold front was moving in and it would drop into the 30's and 40's over the weekend. I decided to ignore my "we do nothing on school nights" rule and take the children to Boo at the Zoo. Yes, it was purely selfish, I just didn't want to walk around the zoo in freezing weather the next evening LOL

The kids got dressed in their Halloween costumes and off we went. What a fun night. The Zoo was all lit up with Halloween decorations. There was a small haunted house, trick or treating, craft activities, hay rides, and of course all the animals.

This time the beavers were out. We never get to see them during the day. They must be nocturnal creatures because they were out they looked very busy, like they were building a dam LOL

I hope my kids still want to go next year ... and the year after that .. and the year after that. (it's probably wishful thinking, huh?)

Rock on!
~Ann~

HFHN TRACK - The Boston Mayor's Cup

2010-11-06T08:41:00.005-04:00

October 24, 2010 - The Boston Mayor's Cup.

Ok, so eight members of the HFHN Track Club headed up to Franklin Park in Boston to participate in the kids 1.1 mile cross country race. The race started at 1oam sharp, so we had to leave early to get up to Boston with enough time to find the park, pick up our numbers, and warm up.

I thought Wendy was a bit crazy for wanting to leave at 7am. My group was running a bit late so we got on the road closer to 8am and it's a good thing we did because this turned out to be a HUGE event and by the time we got up there parking was already becoming an issue.

The race was hosted by the Boston Athletic Association, the same guys who host the world famous Boston Marathon. I was a little nervous driving up to Boston and I had never been to this part of the City before. I remember when I was a little kid that Dorchester was a dump and very dangerous. Well, things have changed! The ares that I saw were all cleaned up and looked very nice. Franklin Park was beautiful. It's nice to see Boston looking good!

We thought our track team was so cool with out matching dry-wick running shirts. Um, yeah, let me tell you we were on the bottom of the cool meter. There was tons of kids running groups there and they had professional warm-up suits, professional track jackets, professional everything. We so need to upgrade.

The race course was pretty cool, it started in an open field along one line, so that every child was in front and had the same chance to pull ahead. There were easily a couple hundred children in each age group. AMAZING!

Emma's age group was the first to take off and I got all teary-eyed when she started running. It hit me how much my life has changed over the past year and a half, how much life has changed for my entire family.

*insert happy tears*

The finish line was really cool, with a big "FINISH" banner and an announcer calling out as many numbers and names as the kids came into the finish. I saw Emma turning the corner for the finish line and the announcer said "Here comes number 792, Emma Sylvia from Holy Family Holy Name, the only team representing the South Coast". *insert more tears*

Emma crossed the finish line and received her medal. I was very proud of her. All of the HFHN kids did an amazing job! It takes guts to get out and try, guts to represent your school, it takes more courage to start than it does to finish. I am so proud of each and everyone of them!

The really amazing thing here to sharing my love and gift of running with kids. I hope we are giving them a lifetime tool to keep them healthy and fit so that none of them have to wake up one day, 36 years old and 100 pounds overweight - like I did.

Rock on!
~Ann~

A Morton Halloween

2010-11-06T08:05:00.004-04:00

October 23, 2010 - The Morton's Halloween Party!

So, Scott and Jackie held a Halloween Birthday party for their daughter, Regan. David and I already had costumes for Paula's upcoming (adults only) Halloween Party, but those costumes were totally inappropriate for a party a with children ROFL! So we needed to figure out what to wear. Of course I didn't want to spend a ton of money.

I already had a Devil set from last year and figured it would be easy to get devil horns and a tail for David. Owen already had a "demon" costume. I just needed to work on Emma. She had a Dorothy costume, with the wig and whole nine yards that we had picked up at the end of last Halloween and she was looking forward to wearing it. I realized that Owen, David and I all matched and I would have loved it if Emma matched us too, but I couldn't burst her bubble, she really wanted to be Dorothy.

A few afternoons before the party I got out all the costumes and had Emma try on her Dorothy costume to see if there was anything I needed to add or change. She put it on and was immediately upset. "Mom it is SO itchy".... Hmmmm, now the practical financial side of me kicks in and I tell her, "Well, that is what you picked so your wearing it". She replied with "But Mom, it's really itchy, try it on".

So I did and IT WAS ITCHY! I tried putting a t-shirt under it to no avail. It was the way the dress was made with the tulle bunched up inside. I agreed she needed to find another costume.

Of course this was my opportunity to get her to match the rest of the family, but I didn't want to force her into that, I wanted her costume to be her choice. Halloween should be fun for kids, a time to use their imagination. I told her I needed to pick up Daddy's devil horns so she could come with me to iParty and choose a new costume.

When we arrived I left her in the children's section and told her to pick something out. I headed over to the accessories and found David's tail and ears. When I got back to Emma she was holding two devil like costumes. One was more witchy-devil like and the other was 100% devil.

I was shocked. I think Emma just got it, she wanted to fit in with her family. I was super excited because despite my best effort in past years I have never been able to get us all to dress alike. I told her either costume was perfectly fine. She picked one out along with some accessories and $70 or so later the Sylvia family had out first matching costumes. YAY!

The party was a great time, with LOTS of food and party games for the children and adults. It was nice to relax with friends and let the kids all have a good time.

On the way home, Emma said "I think next year we should all dress like 70's people". It warmed my heart. She really does love her family!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Random Marathon Thoughts

2010-11-05T06:53:00.002-04:00

Ok, so please read my original post on the Baystate Marathon, it gives a brief overview of my experience. Today I would like to share with you some random thoughts.

Random Thought #1: Around mile 3 a group of guys came up behind us, there were probably five of them. They were running the half-marathon and they struck up a conversation with us. One of them said "So, what are the bows for, are you girls newlyweds?" ROFL!

Random Thought #2: I think a lot of people must have crossed the finish line naked. It was a chilly morning, but with no wind and the sun would pop in and out. Of course if it is 40 degrees out then while you are running it feels like 60. So many people bundled up for the beginning of the race and as they continued to run they shed their clothes. There were shirts, hats, gloves, pants, headband, all over the course. Most runners had the consideration to throw the clothing to the side of road but some tools just dropped it where ever they were running - leaving the runners behind they to have to hurdle clothing. Idiots.

Random Thought #3: The picture above is EB, Magda and me. Notice my pink slippers. I could not WAIT to get my shoes off. I'm also shirtless and bra less under the baggy sweatshirt. I could not wait to get my clothes off. I just felt gross. I sweat so much the first half of the race and then on and off the last half, by the time I got to the finish line I was sticky and stinky. I could not stand my sports bra for one minute more.

Random Thought #4: Everyone told me the last 3 miles would be "the walking dead". I didn't believe them because I fully expected to be at the end of the pack, so I figured I wouldn't see too many people anyway. I was wrong, I saw lots of walking dead. After my mile 15 to mile 23 temper tantrum I finally caught a second wind and was able to do quite a bit of running. On the last three miles I passed runner after runner. Most of them were walking. As I went by I would say, "you're amazing, keep going" ... I swear to God most of them just looked at me with a blank stare. They were as white as a ghost and lifeless. It was actually kind of scary. I think most of the people I passed never finished the race.

Random Thought #5: During the first half of the race we met two older women, Lorraine and Karen. They were 56 and 59 years old. These girls were AMAZING. Can you imagine running a marathon at that age? They didn't stop, they picked their pace and stayed with it. I hope I can be like that when I grow up.

Random Thought #6: Around the mile 18ish marker we came upon a water stop. EB was a little bit ahead of me (trying to pace me to no avail, poor EB, I bet she hates my stubbornness now LOL). She gets through the water stop, which at a school and manned by teenagers, just as I start to run by. All of a sudden all the kids start SCREAMING "Go Ann, You got this, Keep Going, You're Doing Great, WHOO HOOO".... That EB must have whispered to them that I was struggling. It was an amazingly kind thing to do, a priceless moment.

(More coming shortly!)

Rock on!
~Ann~

The Varsity Girls

2010-11-03T16:54:00.003-04:00

October 22, 2010 - The Varsity Girls!

So, back in September Ms. Felix had The Varsity Girls come to HFHN and perform for the school. The kids LOVED it, especially Emma's 4th Grade Class.

I have to admit I was a bit shocked that Ms. Felix allowed The Varsity Girls to perform at the school. While the girls have a really great message with their first single, Be You, they are a pop group and they dress and dance like a pop group. You know, short shorts and boots .... Nevertheless, I was really grateful Ms. Felix invited the group to perform, it was a very special treat.

A few weeks later a flyer came home from school with the kids. The Mattapoisett PTO booked The Varsity Girls to perform at ORR. Of course Emma begged me to take her. There were three stores listed on the flyer where I could purchased tickets. The first two were SOLD OUT. Um, ut oh ... I called the third, some little boutique all the way out in freaking Marion and they only had four tickets left. I asked if they could be held for me and I would come the next morning to purchase them.

So I drove all the way out to Marion and when I got inside the store some man was trying to convince the sales associate to sell him my tickets. Um, I don't think so buddy, move over! I quickly paid and left before he could tackle me and take my precious tickets. YOU know how crazy they get out in Marion LOL

I invited two of Emma's friends, Courtney and Camille to come with us. Friday was a half-a-day at school, so I took all three girls home with me and they were able to have a playdate before the concert.

I had no idea where ORR was and since the tickets seemed to be scarce I decided to leave a full hour before the concert began. The ride took maybe 20 minutes and it's a good thing we left early because it was PACKED. I don't there were many seats left once the concert started.

We got really good seats and the girls had a really good time at the concert. It's rather amusing to watch Emma with her friends. They are such Girly Girls. Totally into Fashion and Gossiping, and Boys. They sang and danced and screamed. It actually brought tears to my eyes. My little girl is growing up.

After the show we waited in line to meet The Varsity Girls and take pictures. They were all very friendly and welcoming. It turns out one of them is an HFHN graduate!

Rumor has it The Varsity Girls are going to blow up. We'll see, that's a very tough industry, but the girls are very talented with amazing personalities.

Now I must plan to take Emma and her friends to a big concert, like Lady Gaga, or Kesha, or Katy Perry....

Rock on!
~Ann~

Baystate Marathon 2010!

2010-11-03T13:31:00.004-04:00

October 17, 2010 - The Baystate Marathon!

Ok, so I DID IT! I completed my first marathon and this is my story:

On Saturday October 16th, EB and I headed up to Lowell to get ready for my first marathon. We picked up our numbers, had lunch, did a little shopping, checked into our hotel, and finally had dinner with Gretchen and Lynn who were also running the same marathon.

I was a bundle of nerves and having dinner with EB, Gretchen, and Lynn was such a nice diversion. They are all amazing, strong and beautiful women. I am honored to call them friends. We laughed and shared stories and then finally headed back tot he hotel to try and sleep.

I surprisingly fell asleep pretty early, but I awoke around 1Am in a complete panic attack. I was SCARED to death. I just kept thinking "Why am I doing this?", "Why am I here?". At one point I felt sick to my stomach and I tossed and turned for quite some time. Eventually I fell back asleep sometime after 2:30 and slept pretty good until our 5:00 AM wake up call.

When I woke up, I felt surprisingly calm. I think I had resigned myself to just going with it. My husband drove up to Lowell to be our personal sherpa and he met us at the hotel. We had breakfast together and David got us to the start line.

The night before, the weathermen were predicting 30 mph winds, but they were wrong YEAH! The day turned out to be beautiful, a little crisp with clouds coming and going, but NO WIND! I could not be happier. I really struggle with the wind. Sometimes it takes my breath away and if I'm running into a headwind I feel like I am standing still. LOL

There were over 4,000 runners, some running the full marathon and others doing the half. There were SO many people at the starting line, it was crazy. When we took our spot int he line, I looked to my left and saw my friend Madga! How karma like is it that out of all those people I end up being right next to a friend. God was on my side.

The race starts and the first mile is always hell. My body is nervous and trying to settle into running, there are lots of people around and I feel squished. I hate the beginning of races.

I get through miles 1-11 pretty painlessly and at a decent pace. I'm drinking steadily, it's not too hot, not too cold. EB and I are carrying on good conversation and we meet some fabulous people along the way to speak with. Many, many people asked us about and complimented us on our bows. We became known as "the pretty flower girls".... and that was the entire point of our t-shirts and bows. To have fun, to laugh with people.

Just before mile 13 we take our first walk break and I fuel up with pretzels and gummy bears. I'm feeling hungry, so it was imperative that I get food in me. We hit mile 13 and this is where I start to struggle. My mind just cannot fathom running 13 more miles. I start having really bad thoughts, things like:

I can't do this.

I'm not ready.

I want to quit.

At one point I actually turned to EB (I think around mile 15) and said "I quit, I think I'm just done." As the words came out of my mouth, I was ashamed of myself. I never quit! I may think about it (everyone does), but I never vocalize it.

I continued to struggle, taking ALOT of walk breaks from mile 15 to mile 22. EB was so gracious, talking to me, encouraging me ... but I couldn't get past my temper tantrums. At one point I told her I was afraid to succeed and that was the honest truth. I am afraid to succeed. It's easier to fail, to quit. It take guts and courage to succeed. I don't believe in myself.

Now that I look back I was also letting other racers bother me. We saw people on the side of the road with injuries, people crying, people on cell phones saying they quit and need a ride home. In my mind, I was like "If they can't do it what makes you think you can?". I was letting their failure become mine - because it was easier.

Between miles 15 and 20 I take quite a few walk breaks. I try to convince myself that my walk is faster than my run. Um, not even close Ann!

Around mile 2oish EB starts to struggle, she is having medical issues and this is where my heart breaks. I just could not get past my struggle to HELP HER ... and I owed her that. I needed to be strong for her, she DESERVED that and I failed.

Finally at mile 22 I convinced her to leave me and finish the race. I promised her I would keep going and I would finish it time. Reluctantly she left me (I was OK with that, she needed to be done and if truth be told I needed to put my big girl panties on and not depend so much on EB, that is not fair to her.)

Mile 22 was pure torture. I kept saying (outloud) "I think I killed EB" and I was crying. LOL! I really felt that way, I thought for sure I would find her passed out along the course. I felt horrible, just horrible. It was a very low point in the race for me.

Around this point a paramedic sees me - it wouldn't be a proper race if I didn't get spoken to by at least one paramedic LOL. He says "Are you Ok?" ... I don't know, maybe it was the tortured look on my face or the barely running gait I was in, or my tears for EB, or talking outloud to myself to tipped the paramedic off that I wasn't in good shape ... but that's when something happened.

I came to a big intersection and of course the street lights changed NOT in my favor. Two police officers spring to action with big orange flags and step out into the middle of traffic and stop all the cars so that I may cross. This was like a highway intersection, like Route 6 around the mall.... and something inside of me clicked. I could do this. I CAN finish.

I see the mile 23 marker - 3 miles. I can do three miles. I start running at a good clip, walk, run, walk, run. Mile 24 ... run, run, run .... Mile 25, walk a bit, run, walk, run.

Around mile 25.5 I see a lovely woman, she looks familiar, but I cannot place her, I pleadingly ask her "How much further?" and she throws her arms around me. I realize it's my friend Magda she has come to run with me the rest of the way - which is amazing! She hurt her knee and it all taped up, but yet she cared enough to help me. That was a priceless moment.

I immediately ask Magda if EB is OK? How is EB? is EB alive? She assures me that EB is fine, she finished the race, got some help and is resting. Ok, I feel a little better now. I didn't kill EB.

The marathon finished in a big stadium, right outside of the stadium EB is standing there waiting for me. I teared up immediately. This was another PRICELESS moment. EB was having some health issues, yet she cared enough to run that last few hundred yards with me. How amazingly unselfish it that? How can I ever express how much that meant to me? We ran by the mile 26 marker together - Me, EB and Madga.

We entered the stadium and in order to get to the finish line you have to run around the entire outfield (how cruel LOL). I hear my husbands voice "Go Ann!" as I run the outfield. I will never, ever forget that sound.

I get close to the finish line, EB and Magda drop off to let me finish .... Five hours and 49 minutes. I had 11 minutes before the course closed down. Right away tears come to my eyes, I throw my arms around EB and Magda, I tell them that I love them, and I really do.

... and that is how I became an official marathoner. It's a story of hardship, determination, friendship and love. I can't wait to do it again. Although this time I will have at least another year of running under my belt, I will be better prepared mentally, and I will make EB proud by finishing around my 5 hour time goal.

Everyone says a marathon will change your life. I didn't believe them - but they were right. There is nothing I can't accomplish. Whether or not I want it to be true, I succeeded. I can do anything I put my mind to.

Sure, I have alot of things to work on. I need to become a stronger runner. I need to toughen up mentally ... but I never quit even when I wanted to.

You know you can do anything you want to as well right?

Rock on!

~Ann~

Howie - He gets cold too!

2010-10-14T07:14:00.002-04:00

Ok, so now that the weather has changed the cats are getting chilly. I can't understand it. This cat, Howie, is clearly a descendant of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They are used to cold weather, their fur has adapted to cold weather.

Shouldn't this cat be loving the current cooler climate? But, noooo .... he's all spoiled and a big baby and has to climb under the covers with me. Rubbing his cold nose against my leg, startling me. When I am minding my own business, no less.

I've been out of bed for an hour and a half. Howie is still there snoozing away, nice and warm. It must be nice to be a house Cat.

I'm going to send him to Cat Boot Camp in Norway. Teach him a lesson or two LOL!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Marathon Training Log: The Video

2010-10-13T07:02:00.002-04:00

Ok, so .... only FOUR MORE DAYS until the Marathon. At this point in time my life is divided into "before the marathon" and "after the marathon". Absolutely anything that can be put on hold until after the marathon, well, is being put on hold. Right now I just cannot think of anything else. My life is consumed by this marathon. I have trained for so long, now I just want to get out there and do it!

We really can't run anymore, so I feel like I am sitting around just waiting. This might actually be harder than finally running the damn marathon!

A week or so ago I hit the wall and was having a hard time completing my short runs. I couldn't even run three miles! I would complain, I was tired, I was allowing myself to make excuses, allowing myself to quit.

I was horrified by my behavior. I'm not a quitter! In talking with EB I discovered that everything I was feeling was normal. I was just tired - emotionally and physically. We had been training for four months and now that training was over. I just wanted the entire thing to be over. I was scared, but ready to go. My body was tired. I've worked my body so hard over the past four month - my calf muscles are an inch bigger - on each side!

I was just feeling DONE! ... and I was depressed about it. Seriously, if I can't finish a 3 mile run, how on earth would I do 26.2? So we set out for a five mile run the next day ... and I failed to complete that. This time I was actually sick with a stomach bug. But, did I bring this bug on myself? Perhaps.

I made a post on Facebook about how I was struggling and not able to complete the simplest of runs. My dear friend Wendy posted this video. I'm still crying. I can't believe she made this for me. Immediately it put everything back into perspective for me. All I have accomplished, all I have worked for, all I have become. All that I am.

I watch the video when I start to doubt myself or when I am about to make a bad choice (like eating an entire box of nutty bars LOL).

Yes, running has made me skinny, but more importantly running has given me the opportunity to build wonderful friendships and I would gladly weigh 200 pounds again to have these friendships ... I love you Wendy!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Pete Bethune drops the dime on Paul Watson - FINALLY

2010-10-12T06:57:00.002-04:00

OK, so I'm sure you are all sick and tired of me whining about Whale Wars, but that show has really captured me and not in a good way. In an "I am outraged and think you are a terrible human being way".

I have ZERO respect for Sea Shepard leader, Paul Watson. I think he is fanatical, hypocritical and very dangerous. I have said more than once that I do not think he will be happy until someone dies. That is *my* opinion of the man.

All along I have believed that Paul Watson "staged" a lot of events in order to gain publicity or to make the Japanese Whalers look bad. For example in Season 1 when he was supposedly "shot". Come on that was a FAKE as could be. Did anyone even believe that?

What type of moral character does one have when they have to make up events in order to support their cause? What else are they making up? What other lies or false stories are being created for "publicity"?

Now, Ady Gil Captain Pete Bethune has come forward and confirmed my suspicions. His boat was hit by a Japanese Whaler and later sunk. He is now claiming that his million dollar boat was salvageable, but Paul Watson wanted to let the boat sink for publicity. No, really? Paul wanted to create false drama? No way! He wanted to accuse the Japanese of sinking a boat when that isn't true? I wish I could say that I am shocked but I am not.

I agree with Pete Bethune, Paul Watson is "morally bankrupt".... and in my opinion, it's only a matter of time before someone get hurts.

(BTW, I wonder if there is any insurance fraud in allowing a boat to sink that was salvageable? Just a question!)

Rock on!
~Ann~

HFHN Track Teams completes it's first 5K!

2010-10-09T18:33:00.002-04:00

Sunday October 3, 2010 - The HFHN Track Team completed it's first 5K as a team last weekend.

We ran the BWS 5K down the South End. I still have tears in my eyes just thinking about what an amazing event this was.

First of all, this race just has a different "feeling" than most other races. It is put on by Jay and Kathy Kruger and it is to raise money for the Beckwith-Weidemen Syndrome, a disease their daughter suffers from. So, it's a charity race.

Second, because Jay was on the Biggest Loser this race draws "fitness teams" from lots of gyms. It is nice to see overweight people OFF the couch, out there trying to get healthy. It brings tears to my eyes when I see a 300 pound woman cross the finish line with a smile.

Lastly, it feels like a family event! That is hard to find with most races.

Our entire Track Team showed up (in uniform *yeah*) to run this race. We divided the kids into three groups, one group with each Coach and off we went. Along the way the kids automatically divided themselves into running groups. They helped each other along the way. There was no competition, there was no attitude - there was only a feeling of helping one another accomplish something amazing.

Almost all of the kids ran the entire race (3.1 miles), a few needed a walk break or two - but never once during the race did I hear "I can't". Instead, everyone was positive with one another, encouraging, and supportive, everyone kept going!

Along the course, I kept hearing people talk about the "track team" and how great the kids were doing, people cheered them on, and were genuinely impressed that we had entire team of young ones.

The entire Track Team finished the race! We even had a 7th grade boy take third place for the boys 12 and under category, while the 7th grade girls swept the girls 12 and under category, claiming first, second, and third places .... AMAZING!

I am truly, truly blessed to be a part of this team. It is a honor to share my gift of running with children. So many people helped me along the way during my weight loss journey. I can never, ever thank them enough. I hope that by Coaching this Track Team is one way I can pay it forward. I hope that I can make a small difference in the life of one child (maybe more LOL!).

I believe I have finally found my calling.... and I am going at it with full speed ahead. I am working with my dear friend and fellow Coach Wendy, along with all five of the area Catholic School Principles .. and the Superintendent to create track teams in all the schools. Next year we will be having the 1st Annual Catholic Schools Track Meet! I can barely contain my excitement! It's time to build my legacy.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Is divorce contagious?

2010-10-07T07:20:00.003-04:00

Ok, so this morning I am wondering if divorce is contagious? I'm not being flippant or cute. I am really curious, in a sad way.

Yesterday I found out another couple whom we are very friendly with are getting a divorce. This makes couple #5 within the past year.

I have to say I was honestly SHOCKED that this particular couple was divorcing. I never saw any signs of problems, although I also wasn't looking (it's not my business). I guess now in hindsight, I can see a few things. I am honestly saddened by the news. I thought they were one of the strongest couples within my circle.... and I really like both of them. My heart hurts for them.

Five couples in one year? Why is this happening? Please don't get me wrong. I want my friends to be happy and if they are in a bad or unhappy marriage there is no point in sticking it out or being miserable for the rest of your life, and if truth be told I really have say to most of these couple SHOULD divorce (at least in my limited opinion, I don't walk in their shoes and have no right to even speculate). At the end of the day, if they are happy married or not married then that is all that matters to me.

But I am disturbed by divorce rate trends. It is estimated that almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. WHY? Are people making bad partner choices? Are people getting married to young? Are people ignoring who they are and trying to be someone else? Are people giving up too easy?

I know there are no answers to these questions. I guess today I am just sad that my friends are hurting. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away for them.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Salem WIcked Half Marathon - Wicked Indeed!

2010-10-03T07:02:00.002-04:00

Saturday September 25, 2010 - The Salem Wicked Half-Marathon.

Ok, so whatever, some of you may remember that the New Bedford Half Marathon on March 21, 2010 was my very first half-marathon. I was done with my weight loss and trained for almost three months. On mile 4ish I got hurt - I tweaked my knee.

I kept running, but it was a disaster. A paramedic wanted to pull me off the course at mile 11 - that's how bad I looked, but I kept going and finished in a very disappointing 2:53. My goal was 2:30.

Since EB and I have been training for a full marathon and David and Keith wanted to do their first Half-Marathons we decided to head up to Salem, MA for the "Wicked". I was calling this my "Redemption Run". I needed to redeem myself from the disaster that was my first Half.

I was scared to death. I was afraid the same thing would happen. I was afraid there would be major hills (I got hurt on the Hathaway Hills last time).... and EB and I had just finished our last long run for marathon training - a 23 mile run - um, 5 days before.

The good news is that I went into this race with my head in the right place. I put the thought of having a time goal out of my mind and instead set a goal to run the entire course with no walking and to cross the finish line with no injuries. Both very doable goals in my opinion.

We left for Salem at 4am and arrived under the cover of darkness with an almost full moon. An omen for sure! I anxiously asked around for anyone who ran this course before and what were the hills like - to no avail. Then we met up with our friend Keith (David's running partner) and he said that he asked someone about the hills and was told, and I quote, "there is only one hill".

Yeah, ok, technically the guy was right there was only one hill - but it was the entire 13.1 mile course! I have never seen such hills in my life and they kept coming one after another, rolling hills, steep hills, slight incline hills ... then of course there were the declines which are just as hard to run. I think the causeway heading into Marblehead was the "flattest" portion of the course and in reality it was a slight incline up, for like a mile.

Despite the hills the course was absolutely beautiful. Leaving Salem center and eventually hitting the beaches of Marblehead was a sweet surprise. It was a HOT day, so we got a nice, much needed cool ocean breeze around mile 6.

I knew at mile three that my legs were DONE. I was DONE. The long run a few day previous was taking it's toll on me. My legs were dead. I knew I had to make a choice. If I stopped and walked at all I knew I would never, ever be able to start running again. So I chose to push through and keep running.... it was hard. It was hard physically and even harder mentally. Thankfully EB talked to me the whole time and we met some wonderful runners along the way to joke with and laugh with.

I swore up and down every time I saw a new hill. I simply couldn't believe it. I was almost mad at the hills. Some how I managed to have a few good running moments where I was able to pick up my speed and run nicely, other times I really slowed down.

As I was running I noticed something very different from the New Bedford Half - this time I was passing people all along the course *and* they stayed behind me. I was still sure that this course was going to take more than 3 hours. It was just 10 times more difficult that the New Bedford Half, so I felt slower and had to resign myself to worse time, but in my mind that was OK because of this hills.

We hit mile 11 and I start to have mini-breakdowns. I wanted to stop and walk more than anything. EB saw me struggling and began to give me motivational speeches (LOL). Each time I almost stopped she was there with encouraging words. She kept me going more that she will ever know.

At one point she starts talking to me about picking up my pace on mile 12 to finish strong. I knew I couldn't, but I promised to try and promised to sprint it in. She kept talking positively to me, which I needed, but because I was in such pain I hated at the same time. I looked off to my right and saw a big open field and thought to myself "Hmmm, I could bury EB there". ROFL! OH, the evil thoughts that cross your mind when you are struggling.

Finally we see the finish line, which is of course, at the summit of a hill. Seriously who puts a finish line on a freaking hill? Anyway, I promised to sprint it in and I did, although my sprint was pretty questionable LOL. I crossed the finish line at 2:37 - a full 16 minutes BETTER than the New Bedford Half.

Two step across the finish line and I start making vomit sounds. A race official was insistent on taking off the timing chip that was around my ankle and all I could think was "Is she serious, can she see I am about to throw up, I'm going to throw up all over her?".... and throw up I did, right next to her foot ROFL!

I vomited a couple of times, mainly from trying to sprint up a damn hill at the very end, and then I was perfectly fine. I walked a bit, ate a banana, and sat for a few minutes to watch other races come in.

What an amazing experience! The hardest race I have ever run - it puts the New Bedford Half to absolute shame. The Hathaway Hills are little kittens compared to the Salem hills.

Now I can't wait for two things:

1. To tackle the new Bedford Half - Can I complete it in my original goal time?
2. To go back up to Salem to run the 10 mile Black Cat! Yes, I will torture myself on that course again, I would love to see what I can do with fresher legs.

Rock on!
~Ann~

David turns 40!

2010-09-28T06:55:00.003-04:00

Ok, so whatever, on September 18th I threw a surprise 40th birthday party for my husband. I held it at The Catwalk. I have to say if you are looking for a place to hold a private event the function room at the Catwalk is AMAZING! The food was great, we had our own bar, with a server, and there was plenty of room. I really think this is one of New Bedford's best kept secrets.

Anyway, I had been planning this party for a year, collecting mailing addresses and trying to keep it a secret from David.

I thought for sure someone would accidentially tell him, or an invitation would be returned to the house with a wrong address and he would see it. Then I was worried that he would figure out why his brother was flying up from Florida - but none of that happened. He was truly surprised *YEAH*.

Lots of our family and friends showed up and a few of David's old friends showed up, which was really neat. All in all, it was a very good crowd. I had rented the room at The Catwalk until 10PM. After that many of us went down to Knuckleheads, where Batteries not Included was playing. We had a great time with many laughs and shocking revelations, I;m still sking my head LOL!

By the end of the night David had turned the CUSTOM hat that I paid almost $30 for into a WWE belt ROFL! Somehow I think was was Cory's idea ....

I can't wait to find an excuse to throw another party!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Marathon Training Log: 23 Miles - Hello Tapering!

2010-09-27T06:50:00.002-04:00

September 20, 2010! Our last "long run" before we begin to taper our runs - which means we do "short runs", you know like 10 miles *sigh*

This run was very hard. Just having the idea in your mind that you are going to run 23 miles is insane.

We started at the beaches down the South End of New Bedford and went all the way out the Lloyd Center and back. INSANE!

I started out VERY slow. I just wasn't feeling it at first, but managed to get myself through the first 11 miles with no major problems. We then took a short walk break at Round Hill and fueled (with fishie pretzels and gummy bears LOL). We took off again and our route took us to Potomska Road and Rock-O-Dundee Round. Now this is a beautiful area but I was just NOT having those round. They seemed never ending and of course contained hills. Hills are NOT my friend LOL.

Somehow I survive (with a walk break of two) and we head back into the Village. We stop at Cecily's so that I can fill up my Camelbak. I ran out of fluids on the Padanaram Bridge. I had a COLD COLD Vitamin water and fueled with more pretzels.

As we headed home I was really starting to feel it. My legs were getting heavy, my mind was freaking out. I know I took at least one more walk break, but I recovered and was able to finish the run without any major disasters or meltdowns.

The amazing thing is how quickly I recover from these runs. Yes, I was sore and I was VERY tired, but the next day I was able to go personal training the net day with Julie. My quads were a bit sore, but not in pain. The human body really amazes me!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Marathon Training Log: 19.2 Miles really

2010-09-09T12:39:00.005-04:00

Ok, so .. EB and I had planned on doing our long run for the week Sunday morning (5:30AM). It was a rough week for me, school started on Monday so the kids and I were trying to get back into our go to bed early, get up early routine *and* I started back at the gym. I went to Cardio Butts & Guts on Tuesday, Spin on Wednesday, and had personal training with Julie on Thursday. Needless to say I was SORE! Julie had me do squats with the kettlebell and SWEET JESUS my quads were on fire for days!

I also did a short run Thursday night and 1/2 spin Friday morning.

On Saturday (09.04.10), I woke up and went for a nice walk. Not a leisurely stroll, but a walk at a quick pace. I came home, took an Aleve and actually went back to bed for a couple of hours. When I woke I felt pretty good and the soreness was lingering but nothing to major. EB called around 2:30ish and said "What are you doing?". Ut, oh! She asked if I wanted to do our long run now and get it out of the way. While I was a bit tormented inside, I really did want to go and get it done.

I did have one problem, about half and hour before she called I had just finished a HUGE protein shake. Not a wimpy one that comes pre-made in the store, but one that I made - with 2 glasses of milk, 2 scoops of protein powder, a banana, a big scoop of natural peanut butter, and 8 ice cubes ... so it was BIG! Usually it sits in my stomach for a bit but then is pretty easily digestible.

So around 3:30 we sent out for my "18 mile do-over" as EB called it. Right from the beginning I struggled. There were very strong winds and we always start our runs near the South End beaches, so it's wide open and I was just not having the wind... or as it turns out hills.

We get through the first three miles and start up a big ass hill towards Dartmouth Street. I am struggling, I am scared, that protein shake is just sitting in my belly. This is not going to be good and I just keep saying "EB, I don't know". At one point, I really wanted to quit - but I never said that out loud. Somehow I keep going and we head into the Village. EB needs a quick bathroom break, so we stop at Cecily's. I stay out side and keep moving, a nice walk around the parking lot. I am afraid to stop altogether. Next we are headed over the Padnaram Bridge. This bridge has given me trouble in the past, I would get a bit woozy running over it. This time I took EB's advice and starred at an object int eh distance and just ran. I got over the bridge without any issues *yeah*.

Now we're on Smith Neck Road and can I just say this road goes on forever and ever. I find the motorists to be RUDE on this road, quite a few of them refused to move over at all, coming very close to us. I swear at one point EB almost jumped into the bushes, I'm not sure if she even realized it. I needed to take a walk break and was still struggling, we were not even half way into our run.

You would think Smith Neck Road was the worst, but let me introduce you to Rock-O-Dundee road, which is one big incline, with a spattering of deep hills thrown in, all the way to Bakerville Road. I was just NOT having the hill - not at all. I walked them, which of course I am disappointed in.

Finally we reach Bakerville and run about half way down. I stop and walk so I can call my Dad to see if he is home. I REALLY needed to pee (that was the very first time I have had to pee while running, of course it was from the big shake I drank and I do want to point out that having to pee while running is not a good feeling, at least not for me). Thankfully he was home and we stopped to pee and fill up or camelbaks. I had some cold water, some ice and a few pretzels.

At this point Dad decides to show EB pictures of me as a kid *sigh* We just need to pee Dad!

After that little break, I felt SO much better. The empty bladder and food did wonders for me. I snapped out of my slump and began to RUN! I felt really good, I felt like I might be able to finish this 18 miles without a complete breakdown. I did have a mini breakdown on miles 1-6 but it was nothing compared to the previous weeks disaster.

Somehow we get ourselves all the way back down the South End and I feel pretty good. Don't get me wrong, I'm not running at lightning speed, it's a slow run, but I am running and my stomach feels good. My body is starting to hurt a bit, but nothing that is major.

As we round one of the last corners EB decides to tell me that this isn't an 18 mile run, but rather a 19.2 mile run. My mouth literally drops open with shock - a good shock! She lied to me LOL! ... and she told me at THE absolute most perfect moment. I actually had a few tears in my eyes. I had already run 18 miles, I broke through the wall and was still running. I knew we still had Brock Avenue to run, but I felt in my bones that I could make it.

I really can't thank EB enough for that little fib. I needed her to do that. I need to stop obsessing and torturing myself over these long runs. If I had known the true distance I would have allowed fear to seep into my mind. This way the fear never even had a chance.

So we head down Brock Avenue and about a half mile away from the finish EB says "so once we hit Apponagansett Street we are going to sprint all the way to your house" *WHAT?*

At this point I tell EB that she is seriously insane and certainly there must be crack in that camelbak of hers. She replies "Um you are the one following me". HAHAHAHAHA! I actually laughed out loud over that as I realized, yep, I'm the insane one. She's leading and training me and I'm following along trying me best. This is one of the moments that I will never forget. I felt true happiness.

Apponagansett street approaches and or course I do what every insane person would do and I sprint home. It certainly wasn't the fastest I have ever sprinted, but it was a sprint and I did it.

Although the first half of the run wasn't very good, I did bounce back and finish strong. I used the lessons I learned from the previous week and I fueled by body during the run. What an impact this had!

It feels like it is all coming together, my defeat last week has turned into a minor victory as I was able to properly care for me body during this run, the Aleve I took before the run is AMAZING. I will do that before every long run, and I learned that even though there may be a few bad miles of running I can change that. I do have the ability to shake it off and start over. Not every mile is going to be perfect running. There will be some good ones and some bad ones. There may even be a disaster mile or two, and that is OK - as long as I know I can bounce back - as long as I CHOOSE to bounce back.

Overall, I really enjoyed this run. I know there is still a lot of hard work to do. I know I am going to have to pick up my pace, I know I am going to have to burst through the pain, but for the first time I think it might, just might, be possible to actually complete this marathon - just don;t tell EB I said that LOL!

Rock on!

~Ann~

First Day of School 2010!

2010-09-05T19:13:00.002-04:00

08.30.10 - Yiiippppeeeee! The kids went back to school last Monday! Aren't they growing up so fast! Owen is in the 5th grade and Emma is in the 4th grade. This is a big year for the kids because they are both on the second floor, meaning they are the "big kids".

Now, I love my summers with the kids. We are lazy, generally have no plans and pretty much stay up late, wake up late and decide that morning what we are going to do for the day.

We went to tons of movies, practically lived at the library, had play dates with friends, spent hours upon hours at the beach ...

But, at sometime the days just drag one into another and I think we were all ready for school to begin so we could get into a nice routine again.

I know I was stoked to get myself back into the gym. I hadn't been all summer so it was nice to get back into the swing of things!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Marathon Training Log: 18 Miles - A Disaster!

2010-08-30T08:33:00.002-04:00

Sunday August 29, 2010 - The day I attempted my first 18 mile run. It was a DISASTER!

EB and I met at 6AM to begin our journey. I woke up around 5:15, got dressed, stretched a tiny bit and had some water. I didn't eat anything.

The night before I had prepared my camelbak. It holds 50 ounces, so I filled it with 20 ounces of Gatorade and 30 ounces of water. I generally don't like the taste of Gatorade, but when mixed with water it tastes fine.

The only time I have ever run this early was during the Cape Relay. I had forgotten how cool it is to see the world wake up. As we ran around the South End beaches we saw a beautiful sunrise, the sun was red and pink and so bright as it rose.

The route took us all the way out to my parents house on Bakerville round, about 10 miles. I felt good, I felt strong, I was drinking perfectly fine. At my parents house we stop for about 10 minutes, fill up our camelbaks with more water, use the bathroom and are on our way.

A little bit down Gulf Road I need to stop and adjust my sneaker, the ties had come loose and I developed a small pain along the side of my foot. We head onto the Padnaram bridge and this is wear my troubles begin. Running over the bridge made me a bit nauseous. I don't know if it was the bridge or if I was beginning to feel the effects of not eating. About half way over the bridge we stop and walk to the other side. Once off the bridge I feel better and I am able to run all the way to the last gate in Hidden Bay, close to Roger's street. At this point there are probably 5 miles or so left to the run, but I am growing more and more nauseous with each step.

Somehow we get back down to the South End and around mile 15 and I just hit a wall. My body is in pain, but not so much that I can't run. It's that my stomach hurts and I have that lump in the back of my throat that signals I want to vomit. I try to ignore it, I try to keep going, but now my mind is allowing all sorts of doubt to seep in. Not just doubt about this run, but doubts about running a marathon at all. I am afraid to let EB down (you have no idea how wonderful she is), I am afraid this will happen again. I am wondering if I am purposely making myself sick because I am afraid of this whole marathon thing.

Really, I was a disaster and it was getting worse every second. EB was talking to me the whole time. She explained how this happens to every runner, we all make mistakes and learn from them. In my mind I knew she was right and I knew I was probably making a bigger deal out of this than necessary but in that moment I just couldn't get passed it. I just couldn't put my big girl panties on and survive. I was allowing myself to fail.

A few times I even uttered the words "I can't". The thought of saying the words just brings tears to my eyes. Through all the ups and downs of weight loss I RARELY spoke those words. I always sucked it up and did my best. I tried my hardest and even though I may not have succeeded every time I knew I still won because I was trying.

So for miles 15 through 18 I did a lot of walking with spurts of running. I did have a nice run down the hill and around to the west side of Rodney French Blvd. For some reason I was able to pull it together for a few minutes. I think that was when EB was talking about our children and getting home to them. That really lit a fire under my butt. I wish I could have held onto it to finish the run, but I let that feeling of needing to finish slip away.

About half a mile to our finish point I told EB "I am never going to get over this" and to "just leave me" ROFL! I can laugh about it now but at the time I was so defeated. I was SO upset with myself, I kept feeling like I let EB down. Seriously, she should not have to babysit me HA!

The tears were beginning to well up in my eyes. EB was amazing. She was so gracious, so calm and understanding. I'm sure this must have been frustrating for her. I'm sure I scared her, I don't think I looked too good and I know she had better things to do that day so taking an hour to finish 3 miles was just ridiculous. Of course she didn't leave my side and talked me through the whole thing. That act of kindness is something I will never, ever forget. I hope some day I can pay it forward.

We eventually get to my street and I collapse on the stairs. When I was sitting I felt a little better. I felt like I was balanced. I wasn't moving so I felt I could get a better handle on the nausea. I sat there for quite a bit, just trying to settle myself. Eventually I made my way upstairs and David brought me some saltines. I took the first bite and the nausea hit me all over again. I had a tremendous desire to vomit, but at the same time low in my stomach I could feel I was hungry, my stomach was actually grumbling. It took me a good half hour, taking small bites of saltines, to feel better again. Once the nausea passed I had a diet Mountain Dew. The carbonation makes my stomach feel better. I took a warm bath, which relaxed my muscles and honestly the water had always made me feel better. Eventually I was able to eat a banana without any nausea and a couple of hours later David got me a chicken Caesar salad from Me & Eds. By that time I was STARVING! I ate the entire salad and a couple pieces of bread.

So it was a BAD run, but I need to stop beating myself up and learn from my mistakes. Here's what I have learned:

1. It is impossible to run any distance without properly fueling. This was a very silly mistake. I should have eaten something light before I left for my run that morning. A banana, some toast, anything.

2. Since I do have naturally low blood pressure, which leads to motion sickness, I need to carry saltines or pretzels with me and perhaps snack here and there on a long run. I know some people can't fuel while running, but I think small salty things is exactly what I need on a run.

3. I need to stop beating myself up. So what I had a bad run. Yes it was a disaster, Yes I pretty much failed the last three miles, Yes I looked like a fool doing it ... but I didn't give up. I could have easily taken any number of direct routes back to my house, but I did choose to complete the course. That will and desire does count for something.

4. I need to toughen up mentally. This is a hard obstacle to overcome. World class Olympic runners (which I am not and never will be) have trouble in this area. I know I am not the only one who has mental breakdowns while running. I think what I need to do is work on some affirmations, allow myself to feel that moment of defeat, recognize it, accept it and pull myself back up and get on track. It's so easy to say, and very hard to do, but I think I can take little steps on my next long run to work on this.

... and that's it. Someday I will look back on this and laugh. I think. LOL!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Constant Reader: The Virgin of the Small Plains

2010-08-27T19:05:00.003-04:00

Ok, so whatever. I just finished reading The Virgin of Small Plains by Nancy Pickard. I found this book one day while just browsing the library shelf. For some reason this book just jumped out at me, naturally I took it home.

One of the things I hate about some books is how they drag, some books drag the first few chapters, some like The Lovely Bones drag the entire time. I end up hating those books. With The Virgin of Small Plains I was hooked right away. By page 37 my mouth had hung open twice in pure shock at the way some of these characters behaved. I just kept thinking 'why on earth would they do that?'.

This book is set in 1987 and present time and centers around the death of a young girl, who becomes known as "The Virgin". Three prominent families, in a very small mid-western town, have something to do with her death and the myth of her being a "Virgin", which has a lasting effect on the entire town and all three families.

About half way through the book I had narrowed down the "who done it" part to two of the characters and I had guessed about the origin of another character, but that didn't ruin the story for me as it unfolds nicely through the eyes of different characters at different time periods, either in 1987 or the present and there are a few unexpected twists and turns. I had to keep reading to find out exactly what happened.

It's a mystery, a love story, a story of hope ... A nice read that will leave you thinking about friendship, family and how far you would go to protect them. Would you, could you ignore a crime? For a family member? For a friend? To protect your child?

Rock on!
~Ann~

Coco Key!

2010-08-27T17:04:00.002-04:00

Ok, so whatever ... we just spent a few days up at Coco Key! It was really nice to get away for a couple of day just the four of us. No schedule, no phone ringing, no work.

The hotel has a really nice indoor water park, which worked out perfectly because the weather the first two days was horrible.

Owen and Emma loved every minute of the water park, the lazy river, the big slides, the huge bucket of water that rained down on everyone every so often. They LOVE staying in a hotel, God knows why.

The first night was actually a bit of a disaster. The room we were in was overlooking part of the roof, which had huge vents. Well at 1Am one of the vents started making a huge siren-like noise. Honestly, it sounded like a building alarm. It was so loud. It woke us all up. After 20 minutes I called the front desk and they said they would send a security guard to check it out. Well, nothing happened and the sound kept on annoying us - and keeping us awake. It finally went off an hour later, but at 5AM it went off again. I was livid. None of us slept.

Finally around 7Am I went down to the front desk and demanded a room on the other side of the hotel. They happily gave me one and we moved all of our stuff to the new room. So, naturally we were all grumpy and tired the next day. We were snapping at each other, it was silly. Finally we all loosened up and went to the water park for some fun. Then we went out for a nice dinner and finally we came back to the room, rented a movie and cuddled and FINALLY fell asleep for a good bit.

The next day we drove into Salem, which was only a few miles away to explore the City. I have to say Salem is adorable. We went on the Pirate Museum tour and the Witch's Museum tour. The kids really enjoyed both of those, especially Owen who has a natural affinity for history.

After the tours we went to Salem's Vintage Photography and dressed up as Witch's and Wizards to have our picture taken as a family. The pictures are horribly cheesy, but we had so much fun and couldn't stop laughing the entire time. It is those moments that I really enjoy the most with my family, when we are all being silly and goofy.

We walked around Salem for awhile and visited some of the cute shops and finally packed up and headed home. Another successful trip. We plan to surprise the kids with another visit to Coco Key in December, perhaps some friends will join us!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Constant Reader

2010-08-24T08:52:00.003-04:00

Ok so whatever a few people have asked me why I refer to myself as a Constant Reader. While one might assume I call myself that because I am "constantly reading", (and yes that is true) but that is not the real reason.

Constant Reader is how my absolute favorite author, Stephen King, refers to his fans. In most of his books there is a acknowledgment section where he thanks people who helped him and he also thanks his "Constant Readers".

Some people think I am nuts when I say King is my favorite author, but I really am amazed by him. I look at his body of work and I am shocked. How can the same mind, the same being write something so amazing like The Shawshank Redemption and also write something demented like It. The very same man, who is a master of writing horror, can also write The Green Mile, or Dolores Claiborne, really thought provoking novels. I haven't come across many authors, true authors, who are able to write such different stories - with apparent ease.

King is also the author of my absolute favorite short story, The Mist. I read this story many years ago, before kids and I still cannot see fog without thinking about this story. It is a horror story alright but it explorers such deep subjects and really leaves readers thinking. You will think about religion and what extreme religion can lead to. You will think about your children, what if, God Forbid, your child were about to experience horrific, unbelievably painful death, would you end their life in a humane way to to save them from suffering? Would you give your life for perfect strangers? How would you deal with losing your family, going into survival mode? Would you become savage or remain a decent human being? When do your morals float out the window in order to just survive? Where is your breaking point?

All those subjects all explored in ONE short story ... and he give you no answers and makes no apologies for it. You have to figure it out for yourself. All these years later I still think about that story, I still struggle with the subject matter and I do not have answers. I probably never will.

Isn't that the true mark of a great author? One who more than 10 years later still has you thinking? Still has you trying to figure out the answers?

That is why I love Stephen King.

(PS - don't see The Mist, the movie, before you read The Mist, the book. Read it first).

Rock on!
~Ann~

Crazy Sisiter-in-Law Story #100213548

2010-08-22T20:30:00.003-04:00

Ok so whatever, it's been awhile since I have told a crazy sister-in-law story, so I thought I would break open the memory vault and share this little diddy with you.

Remember she is now my "ex" crazy sister-in-law, but sadly the crazy continues. That's what alcohol does to a person. Turns them bat shit crazy, although you probably have to be a bit crazy to begin with, but that's another subject altogether.

Anyway, a few years ago my MIL came over and sat at my dining room table. She was devastated, just devastated. Crying and shaking. This was during the time when my father-in-law was very sick (and ultimately dying) so I though for sure that something was terribly wrong with him ... but NOOOOOOO, it was just *Crazy* rearing her ugly head again.

My MIL told me that she had just gotten off the phone with *Crazy* and had terrible news. She had a mammogram and it came back that she had cancer. The cancer was big and had already spread. There was nothing the DRs could do. She only had a few months to live. As I sat listening to this story and watching my MIL sob, I could barely contain myself. I didn't believe the story at all, but how could I say such a thing without looking evil?

My MIL went on and on. The poor kids. It's not fair. They have had such a hard life. Their poor house (it was really damaged in the hurricanes). How could this be. What will Richard do. How could she tell her husband (my FIL), he was so sick, he didn't need to know about this. I must keep it a secret.

So I just sat there and listened. I tried to comfort her as best I could. When my husband came home I told him this story and I told him I didn't believe it for a moment, but like my MIL he still gave *Crazy* the benefit of the doubt. SIGH. I already knew her game, I was on to her.

A few weeks go by, then a few months and nobody says anything. She doesn't seem to be in treatment or going to the DRs often - Remember my husband actually HAD cancer, so I knew first hand what is involved. The Drs don't just tell you that you have cancer and then send you home without any type of follow up care. Finally one day I asked my MIL what ever happened with *Crazy* and her cancer? She says, oh it turned out to be nothing?

I was enraged! I watched as my MIL sat there are cried for this woman, cried for her children, cried for her husband ... and it was "nothing". I don't know if I was more mad at *Crazy* for telling this big lie to begin with or at my MIL for buying her bullshit.

*Crazy* is a hardcore alcoholic, and personally I think she may have some other mental issues going on. This entire cancer nonsense was just another one of her ways to get attention. She needs a lot of attention. It was just another way to get people to feel sorry for her. Another way for her to be the "victim". *Crazy* loves to be the victim and she loves to have people keep secrets for her.

That is why she hates me so much. I REFUSE to allow her to portray herself as a victim. I insist on pointing out how she is responsible for the choices she has made that have led to the way she lives her life .. and I REFUSE to keep any secrets for her.

... and that is just one moment where *Crazy* has managed to insert herself into my life. *rolls eyes*

Rock on!
~Ann~

Constant Reader: Vanishing Acts

2010-08-21T10:18:00.003-04:00

Ok, so whatever, I am a Constant Reader. I feel naked without a book.

I just finished reading Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult. A few years ago I read The Tenth Circle and I really enjoyed her writing style, so I thought I would give one of her other novels a try.

Each chapter is told through the eyes of one of the main characters, Delia, Andrew, Eric ... etc. It is a story about how a father abducted his daughter when she was four years old. Twenty-eight years later he gets caught and the family drama unfolds.

What I like about this book is it explores the grey areas of life. Things aren't always right or wrong, black or white. Sometimes there is a GOOD reason to commit a crime. Sometimes GOOD people commit crimes ... what happens when those good people are thrown into jail with hardcore criminals? Do they have to change their morals just to survive jail life?

I finished this book the day after I had to take in two boys because their mother is an absolute idiot and cannot care for them, well actually the truth is she does not WANT to care for them. She is too busy partying and selfishly living her life, instead of taking care of the two lives she brought into this world.

It really made me think, if my husband were an alcoholic or abusive would I "kidnap" my children so that they didn't have to grow up with a parent like that? So that they didn't have to constantly make excuses for their father's bad behavior? So that they didn't have to grow up in a life less worthy than they deserve?

I think I would. I would break the law because I love them... and that is the grey area.

Anywho, I suggest you read the book. It is thought provoking and an easy read.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Mom. Stop. Embarrassing. Me.

2010-08-19T18:40:00.002-04:00

Ok so whatever, on Tuesday I took the kids and my mother-in-law to Buttonwood Zoo. The kids were super excited to give Memere a tour of the Zoo. They pointed out all the animals to her, told them their names and showed her all the little things they have learned over the years.

Both kids wanted a ride on the Merry-Go-Round, but Emma was MORTIFIED that I wanted to take her picture. She refused to smile. There must have been a cute boy in the vicinity ROFL!

Little does Emma know I am just getting started with the embarrassing of her. I plan lots of pay back for all the times she horrified me in public. In particular I can't wait to chaperon a school dance - in my best 80's attire of course! I'm getting my dance moves down now HA!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Marathon Training Log: 14 Miles

2010-08-19T17:47:00.003-04:00

Ok, so whatever, I did my long Marathon Training run with EB Tuesday night (08.17.10). I ran 14.83 miles, my longest distance EVER!

All day long I was terrified of this run (what else is new?), but the 13 mile run the previous week was SO difficult for me. I don't know if it was because I had run a lot the previous week or because we were running the New Bedford Half Marathon route. EB mentioned I may have had a hard time because we didn't start until around 6:30 and of course as we were running the sun set and it became dark, this may have sub-consciously bothered me. Anyway, I was scared to death.

We set out for our run a little bit after 4PM and began running down Butler Street towards Teledyne. From there we ran towards Fort Tabor all the way in through Fort Taber and out the other side, all the way down to Cidades where we took a left onto Cove Road. We followed Cove Road all the way to Padanaram Avenue and up Rogers (THE HILL) street. We crossed through Dartmouth Street and up to Russells Mills Road. We followed Russells Mills Road all the way to Friendly Pizza, where we took a left to continue on Russells Mills all the way down to Elm Street (right near the Police Station) and took a left onto Elm.

Now, let me just tell you that Elm street is one big series of rolling hills and I don't mean little hills, there were some decent size hills. A couple of time I got the urge to stop and walk but I didn't give in.

We followed Elm street all the way into Padnaram Village and continued down to Fremont Street (a few streets past the Yacht Club). Here we turned left onto Fremont (which is a slight hill) ... and the turn around point! *YEAH* we are now heading back and I haven't stopped to walk one time!

We run all the way up Fremont to take a left onto High Street, then a quick right onto School Street. School Street brings us to Rockland Street and we follow that all the way to take a right onto Prospect Street. At this point I am still running and still feeling pretty good. I am amazed at how far we have run. EB and I are talking the entire time, about family, our lives, friends - everything. We really have a lot in common and I think we have similar attitudes towards parenting.

At Sol-e-Mar we turn right and follow the street all the way down to the Hidden Bay Condos. We run through the development and come out on Rogers Street - at this point I am feeling odd. I feel a bit tired and a bit in awe of how much we have already run. At the end of Rogers Street we turn left back onto Padanaram Ave and here I stop for a 30 second walk. My right hip was beginning to hurt, not pain, but soreness.

At the end of Rogers we take a right back onto Cove Road and run back to Cidades where we hook a right onto East Rodney French Blvd. When we get to the boat ramp I tell EB I need to stop and stretch for a minute, my right hip is hurting. As I'm stretching she explains that it may be hurting because I have slowed my pace and my body is compensating for the new gait. She wants me to pick up the speed for the last 1.86 miles (yes, I calculated it on May my Run LOL) of our run.

Of course I am looking at her like she is crazy. I have just ran 13 miles, I don't think I could pick up my speed if God himself gave me wings. EB says she will set the pace and I just need to stay with her. Um, OKAY.

We take off and the pace is MUCH quicker than what we have been running the past few miles. My hip instantly feels better, but I struggle. I don't get out of breathe or winded but I am tired and it is a battle of wills not to slow down or stop altogether. EB starts telling me stories. I know she is trying to distract me so I will keep on pace and finish this run. I try and concentrate and listen and the stories were hilarious and made me smile, laugh, and even shocked me a bit.

The distraction works and we continue around to West Rodney French, we can see the Irish Flag near Apponagansett Street - the last hill of our run - 14 miles in and all we need to do is turn left onto Apponagansett Street and run a little over 200 yards to Moss Street ... and we did it!

I could never have gotten through this run without EB, she totally keeps me going, encourages me, shares with me, distracts me. I couldn't have asked for a better marathon partner.

The REALLY good news and that when I was done with this run I felt perfectly fine. My muscles were a bit stiff, but I didn't get the usual nausea that I get after a long run. I didn't feel sick or like I needed to go lay down. I felt fine. I didn't have a bit of trouble sleeping. Even though I tried to walk around for a bit after the run, my muscles tightened up a bit at night. It wasn't painful, but I felt stiff. The next morning I woke up feeling stiff. I stretched for a few minutes, walked for a few minutes and then I was perfectly fine - no soreness at all! This is really good because my body is recovering quickly from long runs. This means I can do MORE.

Honestly I am still in shock that I finished this run. That is one mile past the half way point of a Marathon. Am I really going to be able to complete a marathon? I just might be able to ... maybe.

The picture - that is my poor right foot. A big blood blister on my big toe, all my nail polish chipped and some sort of burn (from my socks) on my foot. *sniffle* The dangers of running.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Duck Tape Jack-O-Lantern Contest

2010-08-16T18:48:00.004-04:00

Ok, so whatever ... Although Emma claims to "hate me", she has always enjoyed working on a project with me. We get along really well with each other when we are working towards a goal. Whether that goal be crossing a finish line together, cleaning out her room, or creating something. I think we get along so well because our energy is channeled into accomplishing something, not nitpicking at each other.

The other day I came across this contest called "The Duck Brand Tape Jack-O-Lantern" Contest. What a perfect project for Emma and I!

I showed the page to Emma and together we sat down and sketched out our plan. She made a list of all the colors we needs, all the supplies we need, and all the little things we need to make, like spiders, bats, skulls. If I don't say so myself we developed a kick-ass plan.

So, off to Home Depot and Michaels we went today. Eighty dollars later we have almost everything we need. Emma is like a pig in shit she is so happy. She is already spending the prize money ROFL!

I'll post pictures as we progress.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Running with Emma

2010-08-14T15:47:00.003-04:00

OK, so whatever ... June 20th, 2010 - Fairhaven Father's Day 5K.

As you know I took up running. My running mentor and I started a Track Club at Holy Family Holy Name. A few of our Track Club members wanted to run the Fairhaven Father's Day 5K. I ran with Emma and her friend Collette.

Emma and I have a touchy relationship. On any given day I would swear up and down that this child HATES me, literally hates me. She is always argumentative, if I say the sky is blue she will fight tooth and nail that the sky is green. She just likes to fight with me. As the parent, I have to pick my battles and not give in to her desire to argue. It's hard sometimes.

She is SO dramatic and SO demanding and she is hard as nails. She will not let anyone see her cry. If I had a dollar for every time this nine year old told me I am "ruining her life" I would already be a millionaire. She never holds my hand anymore. It's an embarrassment. I miss holding her hand. Owen still holds my hand.

Lots of times I bite my tongue and remember this is a phase, someday we are going to be the best of friends, but for now I have to be strong and be her parent.

So, the race starts and I start running with Collette and Emma. For both girl's this is their first 5K. I tell them this is their race and I will run at their pace. They run almost the entire first mile at a nice pace, I keep encouraging the girls and let them know they are doing an amazing job.

Just as we approach the first water stop Emma needs to walk. I talk her through it, encourage her to get control of her breathing, take big steps to relax and stretch her muscles. After a few minutes she starts running again and around mile 1.5 she needs another walk, she is starting to break down, her face is all red (it was a REALLY hot day), her breathing is rough, she is losing control. Collette on the other hand is perfectly fine and is letting Emma set the pace.

Emma starts running again and as we approach mile two I hear "Mommy I can't". It wasn't said fresh or in a tone with attitude. I heard pure vulnerability in her voice, something I only hear when she is sick or really needs my help. We slow down and walk, I talk to her quietly. Tell her she is doing such a great job, point out we are more than half way there. Other racers and spectators hear our conversation and cheer her on, tell her she CAN do it.

She begins to run again, slowly, laboring with each step. "Mommy I can't". .... "Yes, you can Emma we are almost there and you are doing amazing. You are strong, you are beautiful, you CAN do this".

We get through mile three with a few brief walks. Emma's all red and drenched in sweat. She is struggling. As we round the corner to the last stretch, Collette is perfectly fine and I tell her to sprint it in. She takes off and I am left with Emma. I talk to her the entire way, promising the finish line is just around the corner, she's got it!

We take the last corner and can see the finish line. A few yards away I grab Emma's hand. She doesn't let go, instead she holds on tight, with complete trust.... and love. Together we cross the finish line, holding hands in the air. Together, mother and daughter. My heart swells and I can hardly keep back the tears. This child DOES love and trust me, especially in her darkest moments. I am her rock.

A few seconds later, a few steps across the finish line, I hear "Mommy I don't feel good" and Emma starts with the dry heaves. Again, she needs me and I take care of her.

On the days I am having a hard time with Emma, I remember this race. I remember the genuine vulnerability and love. I remember what a special child she is .... hard as nails on the outside, but the sweetest creature when she decides to let you in.

It is these moments I am proudest to be her Mom. It is these moments that have made all the weight loss and struggling with training all worth it. I would happily weigh 232 pounds again if I could have this moment all over again. It has been moments like these that have changed me, not getting skinny. Anyone can get skinny, but LIVING with your child, accomplishing something amazing together with your child - that is the true benefit of my weight loss.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Whale Wars: Paul Watson

2010-08-14T12:42:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I am obsessed with Whale Wars, which airs on Animal Planet. I find this show to be completely shocking and deeply disturbing on many, many levels.

I was watching the new episode last night and it finally occurred to me that Captain (if you can call him that) Paul Watson is insane. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result. Watson has been trying to "end whaling" for 30 years, to no avail.

He risks his own life (I have no problem with that) and he risks the lives of others, not only his crew, but also the lives of the Whalers he is trying to stop. He is self-righteous and doesn't see his own actions to be illegal or morally wrong because he believes that he is allowed to behave that way in order to "end whaling".

He is delusional. Let's just pretend for a moment that by some miracle he does get the Japanese to stop whaling, that simply will not be the end of whaling on Planet Earth. There are MANY whaling nations, including the United States.

Isn't it funny that he chooses not to go up against the big, bad United States? We would jail him in an instant for his pirating behavior and he knows that. The United States does not allow commercial whaling but it does allow aboriginal whaling. What is the difference I ask? The end result is the same - whales are killed in order to provide food, shelter etc.. Why are the Japanese as a culture not allowed to do the same thing aboriginal Alaska and Oregon tribes are allowed to do?

So he is delusional at best and a very dangerous human being at worst. I fear one day he will get someone killed. As it is, twice this season there have already been two collisions with Japanese Whalers, sinking one of Watson boats, The Ady Gil. Thankfully no one was seriously injured. One of the crew members rescued from The Ady Gil was all shaken up after the collision and said "I have a baby at home" ... Um, well then what the FUCK are you doing in the Antartic Ocean carrying out attacks against the Japanese Whalers? The ocean is a dangerous place to begin with, never mind taking orders from a lunatic to attack vessels twice the size of your own. Is it really worth losing your life over? Risking your daughter growing up with no father? Your wife with no husband?

I believe Paul Watson won't be happy until someone ends up dead and since the lunatic behavior seems to be escalating I'm sure that will happen within the next couple of years. Perhaps then the world will see Paul Watson for what he really is - insane. At least that's *MY* opinion.

**A side note for all the haters and eco-terrorists. I love whales, they are amazing creatures. I could never personally harm a whale, nor do I think Whaling should go on with no regulations. I think there needs to be sensible control so that we do not obliterate a species. However, man was born to hunt, it is our nature. The cycle of life... and nothing you ever do will stop it**

Rock on!
~Ann~

Matching Sweaters....

2010-08-12T19:41:00.002-04:00

Ok, so whatever, my children were born 17 months apart (by choice). I was flipping through some old photographs and I am shocked at how my pictures I have with Owen and Emma in matching sweaters. Sweaters with stripes, with snowmen, with the American Flag and on and on ...

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed dressing them in matching outfits for Holidays or special events. This picture was taken in 2007 around Christmas time at my Moms. I purchased those sweaters at The Gap and they cost me a fortune, but look how cute they look wearing them!

I have to think about matching outfits for another family picture soon. I'm thinking something edgy. Any suggestions?

Rock on!
~Ann~

Marathon Training Log: 13 Miles

2010-08-10T14:37:00.002-04:00

Ok, so whatever, last night (08.09.10) EB and I did our long run - 13.1 miles. We ran the New Bedford Half Marathon route, which is considered one of the toughest half-marathons in the entire Country. People running the Boston Marathon use it as a training route *crazy*.

Anyway, I haven't run this distance, well since I completed the New Bedford Half Marathon last March... and that was a disaster for me. I got hurt, the paramedics wanted to pull me off the course, I was dehydrated and VERY sick after. Needless to say I was scared to death to run this route again. For those interested you can view the route HERE, we started at the point marked mile 10 and ran the entire loop back to mile 10.

I really struggled on this run. First, getting up County Street is an exercise in mind over matter. I really think that is one of the most deceptive streets in the entire City. It is one loooong incline from top to bottom with several steep climbs thrown in the middle. I was slow, but I didn't stop.

The mind games started right after County street as I knew what lie ahead, Hathaway road. This road contains rolling, steep hills. Each one harder than the next. Again, I didn't stop but I was beginning to feel a bit defeated because I WANTED to quit.

After Hathaway, we head by Buttonwood Park and down around the South End beaches. This is some of the easiest running on the route because it is mostly downhill and at this time of year the beaches provide a nice wind chill. I stopped several times to take a brief walk and by the time we started around the beaches I flat out wanted to quit. EB wouldn't let me. She kept me talking, told me stories and encourage me. Thinking about it now brings me to tears. What an amazing person she is to help me with my struggles.

When we reached the finish line I was very proud that I was able to complete the route with very little walk breaks, but I was disappointed in myself for allowing my insecurities to play with my mind. I'm having a very hard time allowing myself to believe running a Full Marathon is possible. I am almost self-defeating and I really allowed myself to give into the negative thoughts on this run.

I'm not sure how I am going to get over this, but I need to find that will power. *pout*

Rock on!
~Ann~

A stupid horse ...

2010-08-08T20:17:00.003-04:00

Ok, so whatever, for our honeymoon we spent a week at Sandals on St. Lucia, then we flew to Sandals Antigua for a second week. Our friends Kim and Craig (who stood up in our wedding) met us on Antigua. It was really cool to have a week to ourselves then a week with friends.

Anyway, while on Antigua we decided to do the "Horseback riding at Sunset". It sounded like a good idea at the time. We get to the horse place and these horses just looked like death, they looked small and sickly, but whatever.

We all hopped on a horse and our guide led us along a road and eventually onto the beach where we could watch the sunset. The beaches really are beautiful there. Kim, Craig and I all had horses that behaved and listened so we were able to ride on the beach. David on the other hand had a stupid, stubborn horse who REFUSED to leave the street.

As all the couples are on the beach enjoying the beach and sunset poor David is up on the street trying to coax his horse to go down to the beach. No luck. That thing wouldn't budge. ROFL! Of course all the couples found this to be the funniest thing ever and we all had a great laugh at David's expense. Stupid horse.

The other day my Mother-in-law told this story to the kids and they were cracking up. I need to find a nice horse riding experience around her for the kids and I to do with David. Sort of like a do over HA!

(PS - I weighed about 210 in that picture, when I was married)

Rock On!
~Ann~

Family ...

2010-08-07T17:17:00.002-04:00

08.06.10 - Ok, so whatever, on Friday I took Memere (standing), my husband's mother and my Grandmother (sitting) to lunch at IHOP with Owen and Emma.

During lunch Grandma talked about many of the places she has traveled to (49 States and many, many Countries). I, myself, traveled to 3 Countries in South America with her.

Now she is 80 years old and my children loved hearing her stories and I couldn't help but think about how lucky my children are to have a Great-Grandmother. In that moment I was very grateful. I should be more appreciative of my friends and family. Time with them is really very limited and precious.

Rock On!
~Ann~

The new carousel at Buttonwood Zoo!

2010-08-05T13:44:00.003-04:00

Ok, so whatever. Even though my kids are a bit older (11 and 9.5) they still love the Buttonwood Zoo! A few weeks ago we heard that the ZOO had acquired a carousel *yeah* .. so this morning we went to check it out.

Of course as soon as we got to the Zoo it began to drizzle but Owen and Emma were able to get a ride on the carousel before it got shut down (there were some thunder rumblings).

The carousel is SUPER CUTE, with each seat being some sort of Zoo animal. Emma picked some sort of bird to ride on and Owen picked the Tiger. While they were on the ride I was kind of sad, I can't believe how quickly they are growing up. Sometimes I wish I could just stop time and keep them little and safe forever. *sniffle*

After the ride we headed off into the Zoo to see what the animals were up to. I was a bit worried that none of them would be out due to the rain, but as it turns out the animals seem to love the rain and it was really interesting to see how they behave during a little storm.

The Elephants were out playing, the horses were all bunched together under the tree, the cougar was take refuge behind a rock, the turkey vultures (which normally are hidden away in a far tree) were right up front enjoying the rain.

The Zoo also had two new animals since our last visit, first an Owl which was ADORABLE. It was smaller than I pictured an Owl would be, maybe only 6 inches tall and it has those BIG round eyes. I wanted to take her home withe me.

There were also a couple of bunnies in the Farm house. They were all frumpy looking. I'm not sure they are enjoying their time at the Zoo LOL.

If you have some time take your kids to the Zoo this week!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Marathon Training Log: 11 Miles

2010-08-05T09:08:00.002-04:00

Ok, so whatever. I have a marathon training plan and each week I need to accomplish one "long run". I am going to blog about each of those long runs. I think it's going to be important for me to look back on each milestone. Seriously, I just cannot wrap my mind around running 26.2 miles.

Tuesday (08.03.10) night EB and I set out on an 11.32 mile run. I was sick all day long thinking about this run. My stomach was in knots. The last time I ran that distance was May 2, 2010, during the Cape Relay, and it was a disaster for me. (That's a picture of Wendy and I during the Cape Relay, Wendy is who started running with me when I weighted 210 pounds).

EB shows up right on time and we strap on our Camelbak's and head off. Right away I tell her how scared I am and how my stomach is in knots. Of course EB looks at me like I am crazy because she thinks I absolutely can run this distance and more. I seem to be the only one with serious doubts about my ability.

We start off running down Butler Street towards the beach, all the way down to Fort Taber and through Fort Taber (which has some slight hills). I have a bit of trouble one we get up the hills because there is a very strong wind and I am having trouble controlling me breathing. Of course EB and I are talking the entire time, so that doesn't help. We come out the other side of Fort Taber and continue down the bike path along the water all the way down to Cidade's, where we take a left onto Cove Street.

Running Cove street is actually a bit difficult because the sidewalks are in terrible condition (note to self, contact Mayor Lang) and you have to watch your footing. We head all the way up cove street and turn on Padanaram Avenue. At this point, I'm feeling good but getting nervous because I know there is a big hill not too far away.

At the end of Padnaram Ave we start up Rogers Street aka "The Hill". This hill kills me every time. It's long and steep at some points. About half way up the hill my lower back starts hurting. This concerned me a bit because my back has NEVER hurt while running before. I take into consideration that I have felt a bit constipated lately and that was probably the source of my back pain. So I keep running.

At the top of Rogers Street we take a left on Dartmouth Street (which I want to point out is a slight incline) and my back is not hurting as much but still feeling tight. Around the Dartmouth Post Office EB stops and asks me to get the Sports Beans out of her Camelbak. So we take a 30 second walk and chew on some beans. This is the first time I had tried them and I was nervous because my stomach and naturally low blood pressure can sometimes make trying new things like that a disaster.

The 30 second walk did wonders for me back. I was able to stretch it out and when we started running again it felt fine. The Sports Beans agreed with my stomach, but I'm not sure if I felt an energy boost or not. We continue running all the way down Dartmouth Street to take a left on Rockland Street. We take another left onto Prospect Street and continue down to take a right onto Sol-e-Mar. A little way down the street Eb needs to stop and re-tie her shoe. This is good because my back was tightening up and I needed a little walk. Again, we only walked for about 30 seconds and then off we went.

We take a left into Hidden Bay and wind our way through the private neighborhood to come out back on Rogers Street again. Now we get to go downhill *yeah*! We turn left onto Padanaram Ave and come back out again on Cove Street heading back into the South End. Around the County street lights we stop again to grab two more sports beans and take few second walk, which I have to tell you those quick walk breaks were really refreshing. I know they are only a few seconds, but I felt like they allowed me to stretch my muscles.

At the end of Cove, we turn right onto West Rodney French BLVD. I needed a quick walk break around the boat ramp, by back was tightening and I was beginning to feel stiff. We stay on the bike path (not going inside the Fort this time) all the way around to East Rodney French, which we continue on until Apponagansett Street. At this point EB turns to me and asks me if I can sprint up the street. I thinking to myself "Girl, this is a freaking hill and I just ran 11 miles of course I cannot sprint up this hill" ... but instead I said "OK, but I'm only going to Moss Street and then I am walking the last few yards home" .... and that's what we did. It took us a little over 2 hours to do almost 11.5 miles. Not to bad.

When I got home I was hurting and my clothes were drenched. Literally the three articles of clothing that I was wearing easily weighed 5 pounds with sweat. I could have wrung them out *gross*. I had a very hard time settling down and sleeping that night. I was stiff, not really in pain, but very very stiff. My left foot toenails were on FIRE, I couldn't even put a blanket over that foot all night because my toenails were so sensitive. I bet I start losing them soon *sigh*.

The next morning I was VERY tired and VERY stiff, but overall I felt pretty good. I was proud of myself for accomplishing the run without it being a total disaster LOL! I can hardly wait to see what next week's run brings.

Rock on!
~Ann~

The impact of a Husband & Father ....

2010-08-03T13:07:00.004-04:00

Ok, so whatever, I think a Father has a HUGE impact on their children, especially on their male children.

I am very fortunate, I chose a husband who is kind, gentle, loyal, considerate, and a bit rough around the edges (which is a good thing in my opinion, can't stand those preppy guys LOL).

While being married to such a wonderful man is great for me, let's face it I have a very easy life with a husband who helps with housework, helps cook, is very active with the kids, works full-time, and pretty much has ZERO expectations of me. What more could I ask for? I've come to discover that my choice in a mate has more impact on my children than on me, especially on Owen.

Today I took Owen and Emma to Panera Bread for breakfast. As we were leaving the store an older women was entering and Owen immediately, without any prompting, grabbed the door and held it open for her. She smiled and thanked Owen and he replied "You're very welcome" and that was that.

As we drove to our next destination I thought about where Owen has learned this politeness. Certainly I can take *some* credit, but really I have to give 99.9% of the credit to David. He sets the example for Owen by LIVING it, not talking about, but doing it each and every day.

For example, when I come home from shopping David will come outside and carry all the bags inside for me. I don't have to ask. He just does it. When the kids and I come home from school David will come outside and help them with their backpacks and my stuff. I don't have to ask he just does it.

David will jump in and vacuum when needed. I don't have to ask. He will cook when needed. I don't have to ask. He will automatically take time off from work to attend the kids field trips. I don't have to ask. He holds doors for strangers, carries bags for strangers. They don't have to ask.

David took care of his Father while he died. He slept beside him, cleaned him, gave him medicine. No one had to ask.

One day David took Owen and Emma to the beach and Owen came home and told me this story, it went something like this:

"Mom, you're not going to believe what Daddy did. There was the old lady in her car and these kids were hanging around in the middle of the street not letting her pass. Then they started saying mean things to the old lady. Daddy ran over there and told those "asshole punks" to leave her alone and get out of the street. He then asked the old lady if she was OK and made sure she could go on her way".

That's the type of person David is and it's rubbing off on Owen.... Owen is polite and kind. He treats women with respect, he takes gentle care with the elderly ... Someday he is going to make a FABULOUS husband and father. And that makes my heart swell with love for MY husband, what a gift he has given our son.

Now, Emma, she's a much different story (for another day LOL!)

Rock on!

~Ann~

Grumpy!

2010-08-02T20:02:00.002-04:00

Ok, so whatever. I have been grumpy for the past two days. It all started with a migraine that I just couldn't seem to shake. I used to get migraines all the time and then when I started losing weight the migraines pretty much went away, so now when I get them it is SO extreme.

Since I wasn't feeling well, I just let a lot of petty small stuff bother me. Now, I will be the FIRST to say that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I live a very nice, easy life. I have a wonderful husband whom I have no business complaining about. My children, overall, are very well behaved.

But here it goes:

1. My husband annoyed the living hell out of me when he woke me Sunday morning at 5ish to tell me that he was going for a run. All of a sudden (during my marathon training) he has decided that he is going to do a half-marathon. Now, I am happy for him. I think it's fabulous that he has set this goal for himself and I know he can achieve it, but at 5am I was annoyed. First of all, he knows I don't sleep so don't fucking wake me up to tell me you're going for a run. Secondly, I do ALL the planning/organizing/keeping everyone on track in this house ... and that's fine. However, I am training for a marathon right now, the last thing I need to worry about is scheduling David's Half-Marathon. I will have to plan the entire thing for him. He has no idea when it is, where it is, how to sign up, what to do with the kids that day etc... It will all fall on me. *sigh*

2. Over the past week or so it has become obvious that I have lost a couple of friends due to my weight loss. Perhaps they weren't friends to begin with, I don't know, but they have gotten snippy with me lately when I didn't want to go out for dinner or drinks because I had a long run or race scheduled the next day. I'm sorry, but *I* want to do this marathon and if they were my friends they wouldn't be saying "I've changed" they would be supporting me. Also, a couple of them have taken to monitoring what I eat and saying things like "go ahead have a piece of cake" and rolling their eyes when I say no. Now let me tell you, I have NEVER deprived myself of anything, I eat what I want when I want. If I wanted to eat the damn cake I would have.

3. The kids - I do EVERYTHING for my kids. They have absolutely everything they want and have so many family members around to spoil them with love (and things), yet they really can act like really ungrateful little creatures and this has just really gotten to me over the past few days. I know this is normal behavior and really they live in such a bubble that it's hard for them to understand how lucky they are, but really could the whining just stop for ONE day?

See, small petty things making my grumpy. Tomorrow is a new day!

Rock on!
~Ann~

So, something happened ....

2010-08-01T19:50:00.002-04:00

July 31, 2010 - Maderia Feast 5K.

Ok, so whatever. As you know I have been running nearly everyday training for a marathon. I have a six mile loop that I like to do, it has nice flat, fast areas and some incline/hilly areas. So I get a good workout.

At the end of the six miles I sprint down my street at FULL speed. Usually I clonk out a a way before my house, but on Thursday something happened. I did my six miles, I felt good as I rounded the corner onto my street and began my sprint - but this time I allowed my body to take over and I automatically started taking deep steady breaths. Something I had never done before. Usually I take short quick breaths and often lose control and have to settle myself.

This time I just went with it and I ran, really ran at full speed all the way to my house without feeling like I was going to die. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened all night. Was I on to something? Was I finally figuring out how to breathe and run at the same time, without struggling?

I didn't get a chance to run Friday, so I was again up all night thinking about what had happened. It felt different, I ran different. Was this a fluke?

Saturday morning was the Maderia Feast 5K and both David and I were running. All the way there I couldn't stop thinking, I was nervous as hell. Should I try this new breathing? What if I couldn't duplicate it? As we headed down to the starting line I decided to just forget it and run like I usually do - just enjoy the run. Just have fun and get some exercise.

The gun rang and off we went. The race started out rough for me. I was stuck in a pack of people and I couldn't break loose. When I finally did I was stuck behind a man and his two little daughters. Every time I tried to pass the girls the man would block me. Seriously what a douchebag, it's just a damn local race not the freaking Olympics. I'm certain his girls wouldn't shrivel up and die if someone passed them. Freak. Eventually, I had to cross the yellow line to pass the girls and I got yelled at by a cop on a motorcycle. Whatever.

I hit mile 1 and feel pretty good. I make a conscious decision to "try" this new breathing. I pick a tree off in the distance as my goal and pick up the pace, and I breathe deep and steady. It works. I get to the tree in no time and settle back into my slow run. Why not try again? So I set a new goal, pick up the pace, breath deep and run. Really run. Again it works!

I do this all the way through miles 2 and 3 and then I round the corner to the finish line and when I see that I am a FULL minute ahead of my best time ever I sprint like hell, picking off four runners in the last 100 yards (LOL!). I take a few steps across the finish line and, you guessed it, VOMIT everywhere HA!

But it worked. I took almost a full minute off my best time ever and it felt good. I felt good.

I finally know how to breathe and run at the same time. Now I just have to practice.

Rock on!

~Ann~

Teresa Giudice.

2010-07-31T16:57:00.003-04:00

Ok, so whatever. I enjoy watching trashy reality TV. Not only is it one way that helps me make my living but I find it relaxing to watch something totally mindless for an hour or so.

Meet Teresa Giudice. Completely mindless. She is on Bravo TV's Real Housewives of New Jersey and I am deeply disturbed by this, um ... person.

In the first season, we saw her build a $5 million dollar home, which in my personal opinion is GAUDY as hell, but who am I to judge, that's her style, it works for her, so rock on.

We also saw her spend money like it was water, on clothing for herself, for her daughters, on a boob job and thousands upon thousands of dollars on (gaudy) furniture for her new home. By all appearance she appears to be wealthy and can afford to spend money in this fashion. Again, rock on with your bad self.

Now we are in season 2 and again she is spending money like no tomorrow. A lavish birthday party for her daughter, with an ATV as a gift, a shopping trip for clothing for her daughters, a house warming party, a lavish diamond ring as a gift from her husband, etc..

But something is amiss, the news is reporting that Giudice family filed for bankruptcy in October 2009 - to the tune of $10.8 MILLION dollars. Yes, MILLIONS of dollars they are in debt. Yet season two is airing right now and since in one of the episode they were pumpkin picking it is safe to assume that this season was filmed in Fall 2009 - around the same time they filed for bankruptcy. So why on earth are they LAVISHLY spending in this season?

If you cannot pay back your current debts then you don't shop in a childrens boutique for your daughter's clothing. You go to Wal-mart or Target. You certainly don't spend money on an ATV for your kid or a fancy diamond ring.

Which brings me to the question - why on earth is Bravo TV putting up with this charade even perpetuating this FALSE appearance of wealth? Certainly Bravo TV pays for many of the expenses associated with filming their lives. Perhaps they pay for the birthday party, or housewarming party, maybe the fancy anniversary episode, etc... but it's all a lie. These people are MILLIONS of dollars in debt, they claim to make $16K a month, yet live in a $5 million dollar home and spend money like it's water.

The funniest part is now the Guidice family is being investigated for lying to the bankruptcy court (who saw their unreal spending featured on the show and said 'wait a minute') - an offense that could land them in jail and all their possessions are scheduled to be auctioned off on August 22nd to go towards paying off their debt. How embarrassing! How do you explain to your child that some stranger is going to come into your home and buy your bed? all your toys?

Where is the responsibility here? I understand living beyond your means from time to time, but $10 million dollars beyond your means? Boasting on a TV show about how wealthy you are when you owe so much? Mindlessly embarrassing.

... and more importantly why isn't Bravo TV filming the "real" stuff in their lives, you know like meetings with their lawyers or court dates or all the crying and feet stomping that Teresa must be doing over losing her furniture? ROFL!

See what I mean? Mindless.

Rock on!

~Ann~

26.2 ... Here I come, ready or not!

2010-07-30T19:50:00.003-04:00

Ok, so whatever ... today my friend EB and I signed up to run the Bay State Marathon. Um, yes I know this sounds crazy and I have been sick all day just thinking about it. Twenty six point two miles is a long freaking distance to cover.

All of my running friends are absolutely convinced that I can achieve this goal, but I am not. I'm really not. While I enjoy running, I am just not a strong runner. I am slow and awkward. I often lose my breath and have trouble getting back into a nice breathing pattern. I also let my mind defeat my body and I think I sub-consciously sabotage myself. I think deep down I am afraid to succeed.

I know this probably all sounds silly as I talk so much about running, but really running is hard for me. It doesn't come naturally for me and I really have to work at it.

I do the most work during races. When I run alone, I pick a nice pace and I enjoy the run, but when I am in a race, it's different. I allow myself to get distracted by what OTHER people are doing, or wearing, or saying. I don't focus on myself and my goal - again, maybe I'm sabotaging myself?

The really good news is that I will not be alone during this marathon. I have a running partner, EB, who has already completed a few marathons, including the very challenging Boston Marathon. EB asked me a couple of months ago to do a marathon with her. She is a much stronger and faster runner than I am, but she wants to slow down and "enjoy" running a marathon. She doesn't want to run alone.

Of course at first I thought this was a bad idea, I am very well aware of my strengths and weaknesses and I didn't want to slow EB down. I didn't want to ruin the race for her ... but after running together a couple of times she convinced me that she really isn't interested in time, she just wants to run another marathon and enjoy it.

I'm not sure if Eb realizes this or not but the reality is she has become my coach and she is going to be the ONLY reason I finish this marathon. She is an amazing person to be so generous to help get me through this. I only hope I am fulfilling some need for her or that I can somehow pay her back in the future.

.... and when I talk about how getting skinny hasn't been the best thing about my weight loss, it's been the journey and the adventures, and the friends I have made. This is a PERFECT example. I would gladly weigh 232 pounds again if I could have the experience of training for a marathon with EB. She inspires me to be a better runner ... a better wife ... a better mother ... a better friend. Our talks during our runs together are priceless ... and are waaaaaaaaay better than being skinny.

Rock on,
~Ann~

Hello, Bombshell ...

2010-07-29T20:28:00.002-04:00

Ok, so whatever ... when you lose weight one of the first places that you lose it is in your boobs and if you throw in having a couple of kids, gravity from pushing forty, well, you have one hot mess.

So I decided to buy the Victoria Secret BioFit 7-way bra, or more commonly known as the "Bombshell Bra". It cost me $55 and let me tell you it was worth every stinking penny! First of all, it lifts what you already have and then adds a cup size or two. It's like a mini boob job LOL!

Secondly, this bra is SO versatile. You can change the straps around to work with any type of top, strapless, tank etc...

It also comes with clear straps if you prefer to use those.

I purchased the black bra and I plan to go back and buy it in every color available! That's how much I love it. I think this is a MUST HAVE for every single lady out there!

Rock On!

~Ann~

2010-07-28T21:10:00.002-04:00

Ok, so whatever. This is our cat Prince Smooch, Smoochie for short. Well, I should say this is MY cat, as he follows me everywhere, sleeps with me, and whenever my husband comes within two feet of me he runs in the room and jumps in my lap - like he doesn't want my husband touching me ROFL!

Anyway, Smoochie has this obsession with Emma's Barbie dolls. He goes into her room and steals a doll and will drag it all around the house making these weird growling noises. Then he takes the doll under my bed and continues on with all sorts of bizarre sounds.

The other day I was cleaning out under my bed and I found SIX Barbie dolls! I put them all away in Emma's room and do you know I saw Smooch this morning carrying another Barbie under my bed. This little shit is a hoarder!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Trail Running .... UGH!

2010-07-27T19:50:00.002-04:00

SO, as many of you know my friend Wendy and I started a track Club at our children's school, Holy Family Holy Name. Only a handful of the students are participating over the summer vacation and we wanted to make it fun, so every week we have a "field trip" or event planned.

A couple of weeks ago we went to Destruction Brook Woods in South Dartmouth for some trail running.

I was a bit nervous because I have never been trail running before and let's face it I'm not really the outdoorsy type. I don't like dirt and bugs ... My idea of camping is a hotel with an outdoor pool (*wink*). However, the kids were super excited, so I put on my big girl panties (ok well I don't really wear panties LOL) and a smile.

First we all had to douse ourselves in bug spray which I hate. It's just slimey and smells *sigh*. Then we entered the woods and amazingly there was very little sunlight. We were completely covered, for some reason I wasn't expecting that. The terrain was much less impact on my legs/feet than running on the street, but I actually found it a bit harder because I had to constantly had to watch my footing. I didn't want to trip, or step on a rock, or in horse poop. I was really worried about rolling my ankle with one wrong move. You sort of have to jump or leap at times to, so that was different than street running.

I also didn't want to look around. I kept my head down and focused on the ground. I was so afraid I would see a spider or creepy animal in the woods and I would FREAK out LOL!

Some of the kids were having a really good time and enjoyed being in the woods while others were just mortified ... I myself was leaning towards mortified. We ended up running/hiking 3.5 miles and it really didn't feel like we covered that distance at all. I think we all could have done another 3 miles easily.

It's funny how different my children are. Owen *Loved* trail running and wants to go again and Emma absolutely hated it. I'm still on the fence. I know if I ever want to become an ultra-marathoner I would need to get used to running on trail, but do I really want to do that? We shall see ....

Rock on!
~Ann~

Ted Buffet Party!

2010-07-26T19:37:00.003-04:00

July 17, 2010 - Ted Buffet Party!

So, my friend Sue invited us to her 2nd annual Ted Buffet party. Now I had heard all sorts of stories about how this was the best party of the year ... and let me tell you I was NOT disappointed!

The party started around noon, but we didn't get there until about 2PM and let me tell you the party was in full swing by the time we got there LOL!

They had a swimming pool and trampoline and there were a dozen or more kids there so Owen and Emma were in high heaven. Everyone brought something to eat and I have NEVER seen so much food in my entire life - we ate all day long, which was good since we were drinking all day long LOL!

Since the kids were busy entertaining themselves, that left us adults sitting in our lawn chairs, drinking, telling stories and laughing. Oh, the laughing!

... and the shots! As you can see (that's me in the green dress), the shots were flowing. I did it the board twice, both times Cinnamon Shcnappes *shakes head*. Then there were jello shots, pudding shots, and Mr. Houde's Gummi worm shots. I've never done so many shots in my entire life!

I can hardly wait until the annual Ted Buffet Party, I think my contribute next year will be an ice luge LOL

Rock on!
~Ann~

(PS - I just have to point out that if you click on the picture and enlarge it, you can see I am on my tippy-toes because I am so much shorter than everyone else - but look at hose calf muscles, especially on my right leg *yummy*. I've earned those muscles LOL)

Newport!

2010-07-25T14:02:00.005-04:00

July 9, 2010 - H20, Newport Rhode Island. Ok, so one of the most amazing things about losing weight and getting fit has been the PEOPLE that have come into my life. Some of them I have known for several years and have gotten closer to, while others I have known only a brief time.

Every woman at this table is someone I would consider a "guy's girl", not a "girl's girl". They are fiercely independent, beautiful and strong willed. Each of them lives life to it's fullest.

I am truly blessed to know each and every one of these gorgeous ladies!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Weight Loss Methods - Which is better?

2010-07-24T07:34:00.003-04:00

Ok, so the other day I posted this as my facebook status:

Ok, I am going to put the rumors to rest once and for all - I swear on the life of my children that I DID NOT have gastric by-pass surgery. For those that choose to continue to spread these rumors please know that I feel sorry for you, you must be really unhappy with yourself. Call me and we can go for a walk, perhaps some exercise will do you good MEOW

A little background. When I decided to lose weight I looked at ll my options, gastric by-pass was of course of of them, as well as the lap band. I'm not a fan of surgery (having almost died giving birth to Emma) and everyone I knew (at that time, Stacey I hadn't really re-connected with you yet) who had gastric by-pass had gained all their weight back. They never addressed the core issues in their lives, never changed what caused them to be overweight and none of them were aerobically fit.

I decided to lose weight the old-fashioned way through sensible eating and exercise. I lost almost 100 pounds in 8.5 months and in just over year I went from not being able to climb up a flight of stairs without losing my breath to running a half-marathon, followed 6 weeks later by a 200+ mile ultra relay race. So not only did I lose weight, I became Aerobically FIT!

All this time people have gossiped behind my back saying I *MUST* of had gastric-by pass. OK, I can understand people thinking that and I can understand people wanting to ask me, but they never did. They asked my family, my friends, my husband ... and when they all said NO they didn't believe it and continued to gossip, some even accusing my family and friends of "covering" for me. It's not like this has only been ONE person doing this, there has been more than one over the past year and a half ... and it happened again last weekend, except one person had the balls to ask me directly (which I give her credit for LOL).

This time I allowed my feelings to be hurt and I made that post on Facebook. Lots of my friends jumped in giving me wonderful comments that brought me to tears. This morning I discovered my friend Stacey, who had gastric by-pass had blogged about it. I wanted to take a moment to give my thoughts on her blog which raise some good questions!

First, I don't think my way is better or her way is better. I think both ways have lots of pros and cons and each individual needs to look at all the pros and cons and decide what will work for them.

I don't think I have a better chance of gaining all the weight back than she does. I think we have an equal chance, like I said everyone I know who has has GBP (with the exception of the beautiful Stacey) has gained it all back. I think both ways take a life-long commitment and a determination to change your life. The minute you decide to let it all slip away, it will, whether you have had surgery or not.

While my friends on FB did not bash GBP surgery, I do think there was an innocent underlying tone there bashing the surgery. I don't think my friends were looking down at the surgery, what people probably don't know is lot of those people also went from fat to fit without the surgery. Most of them have been right beside me on this wonderful journey.

They have watched me sweat, watched me cry, watch me succeed ... and watch me fail, each time picking me up, dusting me off and pushing me in the right direction. They know how hard it is to be so out of shape you cannot even do 10 jumping jacks without completely losing your breath and they know how hard it is to get into shape - not get skinny. Getting skinny is easy, getting aerobically fit is hard work, very hard work. So I think their comments were more directed at knowing and understanding how hard I have worked rather than bashing GBP.

I was offended by the recent gossip for two reasons:

1. I am not a liar, my family and friends are not liars. If I had the surgery I would own up to it - and be proud of it.

2. I feel those spreading those rumors are refusing to acknowledge the fact that I worked hard - not to be skinny, but to be fit.

.... and those are the reasons I allowed me feelings to be hurt. Silly I know, but there it is. I was having bad day and I allowed myself to feel that way. *shrug* It is what it it.

My way certainly isn't better but it worked for me and Stacey's way worked for her. At the end of the day that's all that really matters, we each reached our goals and are happy! Which ever way you choose is the BEST way for YOU and that's all that should matter!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Wearing a skirt makes you a slut?

2010-03-26T19:29:00.003-04:00

Ok so whatever. During my Freshman and Sophomore years of High School I was really, really good friends with Becky Alexander. But there was a problem - she was in the band and I was not.

See, the high school I went to was (and still is) very cliquey. I wasn't in a specific clique. I had friends from ALL the different cliques. That's how a like my life, with a variety of different people. Back then the cliques didn't really mix and it was hard for someone like me, my preppy friends would ask why on earth I was hanging out with a band geek and my band geek friends would question my judgment in hanging out with a burnout. Honestly I couldn't stand the whole clique thing.

Anyway, Becky got more and more into the "band geeks" club and our friendship drifted apart. Becky had started dating this guy and everything seemed to go to her head, she seemed to think she was the cat's meow.

One day towards the end of sophomore year Becky and I got in a fight (not a physical one). I honestly can't remember what it was about or who started it. I went down to her locker and she accused me of calling her a slut - which I never did.... and then she said "good since you think I'm a slut, now I can wear a skirt tomorrow".

I never forgot that comment. It was bizarre. Does wearing a skirt mean you are a slut? I don't get it. I still don't it. Sure enough the next day she wore a skirt. I laughed about it the whole day. Did that seriously mean she thought girls who wore skirts were sluts? *shakes head*.

Anyway, by the end of our senior year she had lost all her friends. All the "band geeks" were sick of her over inflated ego and they all turned against her. I felt bad for her, she went from being an uber popular "band geek" to having not one friend. Even her boyfriend dumped her.

After graduation I sent her a card. I told her that I didn't understand why our friendship ended, it was silliness really and I hoped that she figured out what friendship was. I told her I was sorry for all the trouble she was experiencing.

The day after she received the letter she showed up at my doorstop with tears in her eyes and a card for me. I wish I had saved that card, it was totally HUMBLE. She apologized for the way she acted towards me and a lot of other people. She explained she was sad about the choices she had made and on and on ... then I never saw her again LOL!

I don't know what the purpose of this story is. I guess I was thinking about Becky the other day, wondering what became of her and the whole wearing skirts makes you a slut comment popped into my mind. Actually that ONE comment is what I remember most about Becky. Kind of sad.

Does anyone know what happened to her?

Rock on!
~Ann~

I am now a Half-Marathoner (sort of)

2010-03-26T07:03:00.004-04:00

Ok so whatever. Yes, I realize I have been neglecting this blog. I've been a very busy girl, you know training for a little road race known as the New Bedford Half Marathon (LOL).

Where do I even begin ... I was extremely nervous the entire week before this race. I didn't sleep well, I was unfocused, and I allowed lots of negative metal chatter inside my head.

This race was very important to me. A lot of people were cheering me on, a lot of people were watching me ... and if I am being honest this was the culmination of my weight loss. The proof that I have gone from fat to fit. I put pressure on myself to succeed no matter what.

The day before the race, I carb loaded and hydrated and actually got a very good night's sleep. I woke up feeling at peace and ready for the race. The negative mental chatter was gone as I had a protein filled breakfast and hydrated. I felt strong.

Once I got to the race grounds the butterflies in my stomach hit. There were SO many people - almost 3,000 runners and many more spectators. I started questioning myself again. Can I do this? What if I fail? Is it OK to fail?

The race began and I felt pretty good. I had set a 10 minute pace for myself (yes I know that is SLOW for most runners, but it is a good comfortable pace for me) and at mile 3 I was right on my pace. I felt good, I felt strong. My family was a Mile 3 and I even took a moment to fool around and pose for the cameras.

Then came Mile 4. *sigh* .... at Mile 4 there was an "unofficial water station", which translates into a citizen with a big orange Gatorade cooler handing out water - in little waxy paper cups. Unfortunately, this good intentioned citizen didn't have a crew to clean up and all the runners before me simply crushed the cups and threw them down. When I got there I had to run through a street covered in cup. There was simply no way to avoid them. It was here that I believe I twisted my knee. I didn't notice it right away, I was probably a good half mile up the road before I acknowledged the pain in my knee.

I wasn't prepared for an injury! My biggest battle has always been the negative mental chatter, not physical limitations to running 13.1 miles. I didn't know what to do or how to push through it.

Miles 4 and 5 were torturous. Then at Mile 6 I was DEAD LAST with the ambulance right behind me. I didn't see the police detail, but others told me it wasn't far behind. Um, when I noticed this I said "Fuck no!" and opened up my stride (which made my knee feel 100% better) and took off like a bat out of hell. I past tons and tons of people as I ran down Rockdale ave and Cove Road and headed into the South End. At Mile 10 I was only 3 minutes off my pace - not bad considering I was battling my inner demons and fighting off physical pain in my knee.

Then it all slipped away from me. I lost my composure. I let the pain in my knee get to me. I let all those negative thoughts take over and I allowed myself to feel defeated. *SIGH*

It took me over an hour to get through the last three miles. At mile 11.5 a paramedic tried to stop me (they were positioned all along the course). I was crying and obviously in pain. He recommended that I stop, come off the course, etc... but I refused. I was so close to the finish. Scott Morton yelled at me to keep going. Since I live down the South End at that point I was actually considering running home and calling it a day (LOL!) but Scott's encouragement kept me going just at the right moment.

I made the turn onto County Street, the last mile and a half were right in front of me. I ran up County a bit, then walked 3/4th of the last mile. I was just in so much pain - both mental and physical, but waaaaaaay back in my heart of hearts I knew I had to keep going ... and I did.

I rounded the last corner and saw my son and a few friend waiting for me. They all jumped in and ran for a bit with me. Owen actually grabbed my hand as we jogged along. A few feet before the finish line they scooted off the side. The picture above is me just about to cross the finish line only a little bit before the race officially shuts down.

At the finish line the Red Cross handed me ice right away. I was crying and so disappointed in myself (silly I know). My whole body hurt ... and that is how I became an official finisher of the New Bedford Half-Marathon.

It wasn't until a few days later that I realized failing to meet my goals wasn't so bad after all. Lots of people dropped out and never even completed the race, not to mention millions of people never even TRY to do something like this, and to top it all off this time last year I weighed 210 pounds. So I may not have met my goal time, I may have let my demons get the best of me, but I still accomplished something and there is always another race. I can only go up from here.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Disaster of Epic Proportions...

2010-03-10T18:25:00.003-05:00

OK, so my friend Marni turned 40 this week. To celebrate a bunch of us got together on Saturday night. The girls all met at the Airport Grille for dinner. It was really nice and we had lots of laughs.... and even dessert, a special treat for me.

After dinner we met the guys and some more friends at Knuckleheads for some drinks ... that's when everything slid down hill into a disaster of epic proportions.

We were seated by the window, in a sort of corner. There was a Statie and his CO brother and their family seated at the bar. The CO brother got up to come down the bar and talk to one of his sons, when he did he bumped into my friend Lee-Ann, who was standing at the table. He didn't say "excuse me" or anything like that and Marni's husband, Boomer, made a loud comment.

At this point David leans into Boomer and tells him that one of those guys is a Statie and trouble, so just keep it down. I didn't see the next part but David told me that the Statie decided to be a smart ass and come down the end of the bar and purposely bumped/leaned into Lee-Ann .... and of course Boomer said something. I honestly don't know what Boomer said, but I think he asked the Statie to apologize and watch what he's doing. That's when all hell broke loose.

Boomer and the Statie start yelling at each other, the CO brother (who is a freaking gorilla, BTW) comes over and starts yelling. This is when David stands in front of me and I take off to the other side of the bar with Lee-Ann and Kim. I didn't want to be in the middle of it.

The yelling continues and Boomer calls the Statie a "pussy with a badge". At that point all the bar stools clear and 7 people surround Boomer and pretty much have him pinned in a corner. It was early, only around 9PM so there weren't any bouncers around. David and the bar owner ,Stoney, were trying to calm things down. I just kept hearing David say "It's alright, Boomer just shut up, no trouble"... but Boomer just kept running his mouth.

Now Boomer - I love you, but honestly this wasn't something to fight over, and at some point when you are surrounded by 7 guys you have to know to just shut up or things are going to end badly.

The yelling was really loud and went on for quite sometime. I was really scared and shaking in a corner on the other side of the bar. I don't like violence and I didn't want my husband anywhere near it. Things can get very serious very quickly and I have two children to think about.

The Boomer decides to act brilliant again and calls the Statie a "See You Next Tuesday". The Statie smacked him right across the face... and David and Stoney continue to try and calm things down. Somehow they manage to get Boomer out of the corner and he heads for the back door, which leads downstairs. As he's heading for the backdoor he says "You're all a bunch of 'See You Next Tuesday's'"... this infuriates a biker guy who was involved and he literally runs around the bar after Boomer. Boomer got the door shut and locked just SECONDS before the biker reached it.

A bar-maid goes and gets Marni and leads her to the backdoor to get Boomer out of there. So David and Stoney continue to try to calm everyone down.... at this point Boomer does the unthinkable. Instead of having Marni go get the car and pick him up at the back door, he goes around the front of the building into the front parking lot - right in front of the windows. Of course the biker guy (and a few others) run out there after him and give him a beat down. *sigh*. Blood, yelling, police.

It was not a good night - at all. Honestly there was NO need for any of it. After Marni & Boomer left we left and went to the Ice Chest. I took two sips of my drink and felt so sick to my stomach that I couldn't even finish it. I had to go home. I just can't deal with stuff like that. All I could think of while standing in the corner shaking is that someone could pull out a weapon and David would be hurt. I try very hard not to put myself or my family in a situation that could harm our family ... and this was just one of those situations that could have been deadly.

I have purposely left out some minor details, but that is the gist of it.

When the cops came I can't believe they didn't offer me any counseling or at least a back-rub LOL! Maybe one of the teddy bears from the trunk of their cruiser. The Red Cross should have wrapped me in a blanket ... at least I felt it was THAT much of a disaster. Four days later and I'm still upset.

Needless to say, I am staying home for awhile.

Rock On!
~Ann~

The Vegetable Lasgna Story ....

2010-01-17T18:19:00.002-05:00

Ok, so whatever. I don't cook. I truly think cooking is a talent and I just don't possess it, not to mention I just don't enjoy it. I would rather stick a fork in my eye then spend one minute cooking in the kitchen. David KNEW this when he married me. We dated for a year, I didn't cook, we lived together for two months before we were engaged, I didn't cook. We were engaged for 18 months and I didn't cook, and we have been married for almost 13 years and I don't cook.

So...... David has been working lots of hours and we were talking about a friend of ours who is always barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. She pops out babies and cooks up a storm. God bless her. David jokingly said "you don't have to be barefoot and pregnant, just be in the kitchen cooking" ROFL! Over the past few months David has also been joking around that I need to get a "real job with benefits". HAHAHAHAHAHA! I do work, I just have my own business and work from home, so that leaves my schedule pretty much clear. I can work when I want, where I want, or not at all if I choose.

Anyway, I was getting pissy with all these comments so told David to tell me what he wants me to cook and I will. The SMART ASS says "vegetable lasagna". Now, he knows I don't cook so why choose something difficult like vegetable lasagna?

The next morning I go to the gym and I ask the ladies where I can buy a good vegetable lasagna - hey I didn't say I would cook from SCRATCH did I? After a robust discussion, the ladies and I settle on a great vegetable lasagna at BJ's. After my workout I drag my ass over to BJ's and get the lasagna.

When I get home I leave the lasagna out on the counter so it will defrost a bit and I can transfer it to my own pan so that David will THINK I cooked it from scratch. I cleaned the entire kitchen and put a few pans in the strainer so it looks like I had been cooking. I hid the boxes that the lasagna came in.

David comes home and the vegetable lasagna is cooking up a storm. He walks in and says "OMG you actually cooked it?" ... "Of course" I respond.

At this point I am acting all grumpy and traumatized from having to cook. I pull my sweatshirt up over my mouth so that he can't see that I am laughing. David says "You don't like the smell" and I just sort of shake my head and then he says "Ann, that's the smell of food cooking" ROFLMAO!

He actually believes I cooked this lasagna. Poor thing. He was so appreciative and ate half the pan and then took the rest to work the next day - where he showed all his friends that I cooked *sigh*

I know someday I will have to tell him the truth, but for now I plan to stop at BJs daily to pick up whatever I am cooking for dinner *wink*

Rock on!
~Ann~

The Birth of Emma ....

2010-01-07T07:01:00.002-05:00

Ok, so whatever. A few weeks ago, I wrote about the birth of Owen, here's Emma's story:

I didn't not enjoy being pregnant with Owen. I was sick every single day, but the actual birth was relatively pain free and easy. I knew if I was going to have another child, I would need to do it right away and get it over with. I hated being pregnant THAT much LOL.

When Owen turned six months old we started trying to get pregnant again. On Owen's first birthday, June 18th, I discovered I was pregnant again. *YEAH* She was due the last week of February.

I went in for my first appointment, you know the one where they do an internal examine. After the examine I was bleeding. This didn't happen with Owen, so I was a bit nervous, but Dr. Eddy assure me it was normal. Okey Dokey.

Around three months or so I went for my first ultrasound. It didn't seem to go as smooth as the first ultrasound I had with Owen. The woman kept moving the wand think around taking all sorts of pictures, but again I was assured this was normal.

A few days later, I received a phone call from Dr. Eddy. The ultrasound didn't go so well, I needed to go in for another one, an internal ultrasound. Why, I asked? Is there something wrong? I demanded he be truthful with me. He said there was either a problem with the pregnancy or I was expecting twins. Talk about a double edged sword LOL!

So I go in for an internal ultrasound and waited the few days for Dr. Eddy to call me back. It turned out I had a placenta previa (no twins), a very dangerous condition that affects less than 0.5% of women. Dr. Eddy told me in the vast majority of these cases the placenta previa goes away on it's own as the baby grows up in the uterus. He told me to take it easy for the next few weeks, no major exercise or heavy lifting.

A few days after Thanksgiving, I began to bleed. I bright red, painless bleeding. So after I began having cramps. I was taken to the hospital and admitted. I was in labor at 21 weeks. It seems I would not be one of those lucky women who had the placenta previa go away on it's own. I was the rare 0.5% of women with a life-threatening pregnancy.

I was placed on 100% bed rest. Owen was only 15 months or so old, so this was very difficult. I was a sty-at-home Mom and Owen and I did stuff together everyday. I couldn't lift him, couldn't let him take a nap with me. Our whole lives were thrown upside down. Thankfully I have a really amazing family and a great support system. So everyone jumped in and helped me care for Owen, take care of the house, etc...

I was in the hospital for three nights the first time. Two weeks later I bled again, and went into labor again. Hospitalized again. This time they gave me the shots to speed up the lung growth of the baby. I asked to find out the sex of the baby, something I didn't want to do, We didn't know with Owen and I didn't want ot know with this baby, but the Dr. explained to me the complications: I could die, the baby could die, each time I bled the baby was deprived oxygen and this could result in cerebral palsy, etc...

So I thought it best to name the baby. The baby deserved a name. It was a girl and I named her Emma Ruth.

I was again sent home on 100% bed rest, the DR said I could not go to my mother's for Christmas (she only lives in Dartmouth), but the car ride would be too long and too dangerous. So I spent Christmas on the couch, alone, on bed rest, talking to Emma.

A week later we had a snow storm, it was a Saturday, and I started bleeding again. In labor again, admitted to the hospital again. This went on every week/two weeks until Emma's birth. Dr. Eddy tried to convince me to stay in the hospital until she could safely be delivered, but I wanted to be home with David and Owen.

At 31 weeks Dr. Eddy wanted to do an amniocentesis, a procedure in which they stick a huge freaking needle in your belly and withdraw amniotic fluid. They can then test this fluid to see how far along Emma's lungs had developed. I was bleeding so much and the DR wanted to get Emma out of me as soon as possible. I told him I wanted to think about it for a few a days. I talked to my pedi, my husband and finally I decided to just listen to my instincts.

I knew, deep in my heart that if I did the amnio, I would go into labor and Emma would be born at 31 weeks, lungs developed or not. I didn't have a good feeling about this, I didn't think she would survive if born that way. I told the Dr that I wanted to skip the amnio and keep her in my belly as long as possible. I would stay on bed rest AT HOME (He was close to admitting me for the duration of the pregnancy again LOL)

The Dr agreed, but with reservations and warned me of all the dangers, including risking my own life. Deep down I knew this was the right thing to do and everything would be OK. So life went on and I would make my weekly trips to the hospital for bleeding, sometimes getting admitting for a night or two, other times being released.

Then Super Bowl Sunday can, January 28th, a full month before Ema's due date. My poor husband had been through so much over the past few months, with me on bed rest, taking care of Owen, working tons of hours.... so he said he was going to put Owen to bed and head up the street to a neighborhood bar and watch the Super Bowl with friends. He would be home a half-time. Seemed pretty reasonable to me, I was only lying on the couch anyway.

As soon as he walked out the door, I knew. I knew things were going to get ugly. I laid as stiff as a board, not wanting to move at all until he came home. Finally half time arrives, David walks in (drunk, I might add) and I stand up to go to the bathroom. That is when it happened. Blood everywhere. I was bleeding out.

I called the hospital quickly while David got his Mom to come stay with Owen and he drove me (drunk, hey what choice did we have) to the Hospital. Dr. Eddy beat me there and was already in the OR waiting for me. I was met at the emergency room doors by the nurses who got me into a wheel chair and started stripping my clothes off in the elevator, they got an IV into me and rushed me into a room to prepare me for surgery.

By this time the bleeding had subsided a bit and I was feeling a little stronger. The rolled me into the OR. The nurse asked to me sit up so that I could receive a spinal. Um, that's when I saw the catheter line, completely filled with bright red blood. I freaked the fuck out. I said no one can touch me, I was not have a baby, I wanted to go watch survivor, let me out of here (LOL). Everything was spinning, I couldn't breathe ... I was having a full blown panic attack.

The DRs asked David (drunk) to come in and calm me down. He says he talked to me, but I have no memory of this.

Finally the anetheiologist reaches over and pumps something into my IV line. That was it I was out with seconds, I was still awake, but in a very foggy state. Whatever he gave me sent me for a loop. He quickly gave me the spinal (I have no memory of this) and Emma was born within minutes. I have no memory of seeing her, and she was quickly rushed off the the NICU.

After the surgery I was a mess, I think I was having a reaction to the morphine, but the nurses wouldn't take me off it. Emma was in rough shape too. She was having trouble breathing and specialist were called in. Even though I was all doped up, I remember this one women DR coming to talk to me, she said there was something wrong with Emma, she just knew it and she wanted to perform a spinal tap on her. I told the Dr that Emma was perfectly fine and she didn't need a spinal tap. She argued with me and insisted there was something wrong with her and a spinal tap needed to be done to determine what was wrong, otherwise she could die.

I was so doped up that I gave in and signed the papers to have the spinal tap done. I wish I had held on to my instincts and refused, because as it turned out Emma was perfectly fine.... as I knew she would be as long as I kept her in my belly as long as possible.

After 7 days in NICU and me in the maternity ward (I told you I was in rough shape) they finally let us go home.

... and that is how my feisty little Emma came into the world.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Christmas Eve

2010-01-05T15:26:00.002-05:00

Ok so whatever, we always spend Christmas Eve at my Mom's house. The kids are always super excited, because of course my parents spoil them.

This year the "big gift" was PSPs (and games, and books, and PJ's, and and and and and and LOL). Owen and Emma had NO IDEA they were getting these so it was a big surprise.

We are a family that likes to joke around. That night we were all picking on my Dad because he put up these horrendous "Flood Lights" throughout the house. Now I do admit they lose electricity quite often, but it's usually only for a few hours, it's not like they go weeks with no lights. I guess he's prepared for any disaster.

My father also found this new ice cream called Rum Raisin. OMG, it's SO good. I had like two big helpings with a cupcake. It feels good to eat sweets once and awhile, but I probably had waaaay to many over the Holidays. My half-marathon training is way behind schedule. Training during hte holidays and during the winter is just not a smart idea.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Rock on!
~Ann~

My Husband, My own personal Hero

2010-01-05T15:13:00.002-05:00

Ok, so whatever, I realize I have been very delinquent in updating my blog as of late and I have TONS of crap to talk about!

Let me begin with a story about my dear husband. Those who know him, know he is a gentle giant. He may look a little rough around the edges, and he may "snap" at work from time to time, but he is the kindest, most caring person I know. He would do anything for almost anyone - without them even asking. His actions speaks volumes about him. Case in point:

We had a snow storm on December 19th and 20th that dumped 20+ inches on us. This is otherwise known as a BLIZZARD. Needless to say, the City did a really shitty job of plowing. I think they did all the major roads and ignored all the side streets, leaving the City in a disaster with many streets not drivable.

Owen had a very important DRs appointment at St. Lukes on Monday the 21st at 10:45. David only had to work ONE more day, then he would be off until after the New Year. So he had to go into work on that Monday. He kept asking me if I wanted him to take the day off and he would just work on Tuesday instead. I said NO because he has worked 50+ hour weeks for months now and I knew how much he was looking forward to some time off, so I didn't want to push his vacation back another day.

I absolutely HATE the snow. The crunching sound that snow makes when you walk on it is like nails on a chalkboard to my ears, but I planned to put my big girl panties on and somehow drive my son to the hospital for his appointment.

Monday morning came and I was starting to freak out. My street looked terrible, it was cold and I was scared to drive, not to mention I was worried about where I would park at the hospital. There was just SO much snow, parking was sure to be a problem.

At 8:30 the phone rang and it was David. He said "I'm leaving work at 9:30, I'll be there to drive you and Owen". ..... SWOOOOON! and that is why I love my husband so much. He comes to my rescue without me even having to ask.

I love that he is teaching my children though action how to be a good husband and father. Some people are really good at talking, but rarely come through with action. David is all about action and I love him for it.

P.S. - Owen is perfectly fine, just a minor health issue.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Breakfast with Santa

2009-12-09T17:41:00.002-05:00

12.04.09 - Owen and Emma at breakfast with Santa. Amazingly they both STILL believe in Santa, probably because of the tale I tell them every year:

THE TALE:
Since Owen and Emma were very little, I have told them that all the presents are not free. Every Mommy and Daddy has to make a trip to the North Pole to visit with Santa and give him money for the gifts.

So every year, my mother has the kids sleep over her house for 2 nights and David and I "go to the North Pole". When we come back, we tell all sorts of tales about Santa, the elves, the toy factory... Last year we told him Santa let us watch Twilight in his movie theater and the elves had cart they pushed up and down the aisle with popcorn, candy, hot chocolate.

This year we told them Santa held a big Ball and we had to dress up and we danced. There were sweets everywhere and a big snow ball fight.

I want them to believe as long as possible, soon enough they will be adults with adult problems. For now they can enjoy being a kid.

Rock on!
~Ann~

Our morning routine ....

2009-12-08T18:31:00.003-05:00

OK so whatever. The other day I complained about Emma losing her school shoes and having a temper tantrum right as we needed to leave for school. This got the conversation rolling about our morning routines. Here's mine:

* 4:30 - David leaves for work

* 6:00 - I get up and say "Owen and Emma time to wakey wakey, move on out to the couches". Both children bring their blankets and sleep for another half hour on the couch.

* 6:03 - 6:30 I answer business emails that rolled in overnight, read the paper online, hit a few blogs (and facebook LOL)

* 6:30 - I go to the kitchen and make breakfast for the kids, I think bring it to the living room and say "Gooooooood Moooorning my sweet little babies". I hand then their breakfast and rub their backs and give them lots of butterfly kisses. I turn on the TV and tune into some sort of cartoon.

* 6:30 - 7:00 - I clean the kitchen, make lunch for Owen and Emma and quickly get dressed.

* 7:00 - I ask Owen and Emma to get ready. They both put away their breakfast plates, blankets, and get dressed, brush their teeth etc... I continue to get dressed, clean up a bit, etc..

7:30ish - We leave for school.

The only times we deviate from this routine is if one of the kids needs to take a shower, or I need to shower that morning, or whatever.

After I told my friends about this morning routine, they looked at me like I had two heads. They just yell at their kids to get up, eat something, and get dressed. Apparently my routine is really lavish.

I kind of felt good about that. I hope my children remember the small things ..

Rock on!
~Ann~

The Birth of Owen ...

2009-12-02T08:29:00.002-05:00

Ok so whatever. My husband was diagnosed with cancer a few months after we were married. He was operated on in June of 1998. He had melanoma - on top of his lymph nodes. We were told if the cancer had seeped into his lymph nodes he could be in serious trouble and after the operation he was referred up to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for further treatment.

At DFCI, we met Dr. Harley Haines (I loved him!) who was upset that the DRS in New Bedford had operated on David so quickly. There was no NO way to tell if the cancer had spread into David lymph nodes. We just had to "wait and see". At that time a new procedure had just been developed at DFCI called lymph node mapping, some sort of procedure where they shoot dye into the cancer to see how far it had spread... because the DRS had already removed the cancer and some of the surrounding lymph nodes, there was no way for this procedure to be done and no way to know if the cancer was gone. So Dr. Haines asked us if we were planning on starting a family.

Um, what? I don't know, we've only been married for like six months. I just want to pay our bills LOL. He continued on saying that it is something we should think about because David's condition is unknown and would remain that way for many years. If the cancer did come back, in his lymph nodes, survival rates are not good and treatment is rough. WHOA!

So much to think about. Did I want a baby? What if David's cancer returned? Would I be alone with a baby? WTF?

In the end, we decided to just do it and let God sort out the details. I found out I was pregnant in October 1998, the same month as our First Anniversary. I weighed 210 pounds and the pregnancy was ugly. The baby was due on June 18, 1999. I was sick every single day for nine months, like really sick. I vomited at least a dozen times each day. I vomited first thing in the morning, every time I ate or drank something. I was miserable. I felt like I had an alien in my belly. I didn't like the feeling of the baby moving around inside or kicking. I just wasn't one of those women who enjoys being pregnant. While I tried to enjoy it and yes, I do have some fond memories, like when I was 8 months pregnant and David came home to see me putting groceries away, he put his arm around my belly and kissed me .... but for the most part I did not enjoy being pregnant at all. Everything smelled bad, I was dehydrated all the time, and I was losing weight fast.

One evening I was feeling very sick. It was the middle of winter and I was cold, tired, and hungry. I decided to make some Campell's vegetable soup. I cook the soup and climb into bed to watch Dawson's creek. The soup was so warm and tasted really good, it was warming me up ..... then all hell broke loose and after 30 minutes or so of being completely nauseated I threw up all of the Campell's Soup. To this day I cannot eat or even smell that soup, or watch Dawson's Creek for that matter without getting sick. *sigh*

Finally June 18 rolls around and I was constipated. All day I was having constipation cramps. David was working 2nd shift back then and got home at 11:30PM. He came home, took a shower and climbed into bed. I was sort of rolling around. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that I was constipated and had to go to the bathroom but couldn't. I felt like this all day and was tired. So I got up and drank a glass of water .... and I went ot the bathroom. Oh, sweet relief no I can get some sleep. I climb into bed and a few minutes later I get another constipation pain. David climbs out of bed, puts his watch on and starts getting dressed. By this time it's like 12:30 and I said "What are you doing?". He responded "Um, I think your having the baby, we should go to the hospital".

I said "Don't be silly, I'm just constipated". Now remember, this is all happening on MY DUE DATE! I was in complete denial. So, all grumpy I say "Fine, we'll go to the hospital, but they're going to send me right home".

We get to the hospital and I was four centimeters dilated LOL! Of course they admit me and I spend the next few hours walking around, dealing with my "constipation" pains. Finally around 4AM I tell the nurse I'm tired. Give me the epidural so I can take a nap LOL!

I get the epidural, lay down, relax a bit. My mom arrives and by this point David has been up more than 24 hours, so he tries to take a nap in the chair while Mom helps me. I really wasn't in any pain, I felt fine, but was so worried about David. Finally I tell my Mom to take his to the cafeteria for some food. As soon as they leave I relax, doze a bit, and felt really good. Then all of a sudden - you're not going to believe this - I had to poo. I called the nurse and apologized to her over and over and explained that I had to go to the bathroom. I told her I was so embarrassed, but I had to poo, could she help me?

The just said "Oh, yeah, let me just check you". Check me, um no I NEED to poo. Get me to the bathroom. So she checks me and walks out of the room. WTF is wrong with her? I need to poo and I need to poo now. David and my Mom still aren't back and I clearly am not explaining myself properly to the nurse.

Next thing I know the nurse comes back with another nurse and the bed I am lying in is all of a sudden a Transformer. The bottom comes off, stirrups go up ... I'm still saying, "but I have to poo". Finally the nurse looks at me and says "Sweetie, it's time you're having the baby". I was still in denial LOL!

David and my Mom come back just as I am starting to push. You should have seen the look on David's face when he walked in and saw all the nurses and the bed transformed. After about 20 minutes or so of pushing - with ZERO pain - I heard the words "It's a boy!". We didn't know the sex of the baby, so we were really surprised!

... and that is how my sweet Owen came into the world.

Rock on!
~Ann~

World's Aids Day

2009-12-01T10:45:00.002-05:00

Ok so whatever. Today is World Aids Day. For a small donation Owen and Emma were allowed out of their school uniforms and allowed to wear red t-shirts to show support and awareness of Aids.

Personally, I think Emma was just excited to whip out her skinny jeans for school LOL.

This holiday season I am having a hard time finding gifts for my children. Owen is 10 and Emma is almost 9. They are in that "in-between" age where they don't play with "toys" as much, but are still too small for teenager things. *sigh*

Rock on!
~Ann~

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-28T13:59:00.004-05:00

Ok so whatever. We spent Thanksgiving at my Mom's house with family. I have so much to be thankful for, including, but not limited to:

* My children are healthy and happy.

* David and I are healthy and happy.

* I have a wonderful husband who is an amazing father.

* I have a business that allows me to work from home, so I can always be there for my husband and kids.

* I have amazing friends who have touched my life this year in unbelievable ways.

* I have a home, not just a house, but a home.

* ... and this year I am very grateful that I learned that I *AM* my own higher power.

As many of you know my children are in Catholic school and while I do believe in God (whatever God that may be) I do not go to Church. I have strong opinions about 'organized religion' and I'm sorry but I just can't get over the hypocrisy that exists in every single Church I have ever stepped foot into. For example, it's hard for me to attend a service and see someone sitting three rows up who just beat their wife, or the thief two rows over. I know SO many people who do NOT live their religion (whatever religion that may be) during the week and then they think they can go to Church on the weekend and be absolved of all their bad behavior. I have a hard time accepting that. I think people should live their religion everyday - simply try and do the right thing every day and be a good person. Isn't that really what all religions are about anyway?

The Catholic Church specifically pisses me off. From their condemnation of books - are you kidding me? We should never, ever condemn a book or a dissenting opinion, but rather embrace them and either learn from them or solidify our already strong beliefs.... to their trying to keep women in the dark ages - no birth control, no women priest's.

When I married David I became Catholic. I went to classes and was baptized, the whole nine yards. During one of the classes someone asked why women aren't allowed to be Priest's. Father responded that the reason is there were no women at the Last Supper. I shyly raised my hand and said "If there were no women at the Last Supper, who served the meal?" ... because you damn well know a woman was there to serve and clean up, but I digress. ...

Anyway, I've been thinking that maybe God is each of us. It took me losing 90 pounds to learn that I AM my own higher power. I have the power to choose what to eat, what not to eat, when to exercise, etc... I also have the power to make my life what I want it to be. Sure there are sometimes roadblocks, but I have the power to move them or go around. I can choose how I want to live. I can choose what I want my life to be. I can choose to be a good person (or not, and yes sometimes we all choose not to). I can choose how to raise my children, how to live each and everyday and isn't that what God is really all about - free will?

Do I even need to go to Church to believe? or to be a good person? I guess on this Thanksgiving I am most thankful that I learned to embrace my free will and make changes in my life that needed to be made. I'm not done yet. I want to create an even better life for my children and family. I am thankful that I have the power to do it.

I hope you all find your own higher power!

Rock on!
~Ann~

The Policeman's Ball

2009-11-28T13:50:00.003-05:00

Ok So whatever. Here I am just before we left for the Policeman's Ball. That is my size 6 dress! Don't forget I was a size 16/18 at the beginning of this year so I have come a looong way.

The Ball was fun. It was at Cafe Funchal and we were with a great group of our friends. I went to an event at Cafe Funchal over the summer and the food totally sucked, it was like cafeteria food, so I was pleasantly surprised with dinner. It was really good.

After dinner there was a band and at first I thought they sucked, but after a few boring songs then began to sing some really cool ones and everyone started dancing. Of course I was all nervous and self-conscious. I've lost all this weight and I think I am more self-conscious than ever. I need to find a way to get over that.

Two of my girlfriends kept touching my hips and stomach because they couldn't believe it.... neither can I. It's weird looking at that picture of me. I look thin in the picture but that isn't how my mind sees myself. I still see myself as a fat girl. *pout* Oh well.

Eventually I let loose and danced with my friends and my husband and it felt really good to enjoy this new body and have a good time. I never knew there would be so much emotional stuff that goes along with losing weight, I need to find myself again.

Rock on!
~Ann~

200+ mile Relay Race ... Am I crazy?

2009-11-16T11:50:00.003-05:00

Ok so whatever, am I crazy? My friend Wendy asked me to join her relay race team. When we first talked about it (many months ago) she said it was a 200 mile relay race down the Cape. I just laughed, as if I could ever do anything like that LOL.

A week or so ago, she asked me again. I sort of said yes, but explained that I am a pretty slow runner so if she is looking for her team to get a good time, I am probably not the best team mate to have. Of course she said that was nonsense and she just wanted to have fun with it. I knew this was an overnight race, so I asked if we would be staying in a hotel? Um, so she said, you sleep in a van with "six other sweaty people". ROFL! Doesn't she not know I have princess tendencies? My idea of "camping" is a five star hotel with an outdoor pool. LOL

However, something came over me and I decided to see if I could find out more information about this race.. I went to my dear friend, google, and typed in "relay race down the cape" and found the 13 Relay Race Site. I read through the entire site, including "The Book", which contains all the specifics and all the rules and I do have to admit that it seems like a really cool thing to participate in, yes even the sleeping in the van part *sigh*. I think it will be alot of fun and probably a life changing experience.

So, I am on the team - for now, I told her if she finds a better team member I would gladly step down - although she said she wouldn't hear of that LOL.

My husband thinks I am nuts to participate. What do you guys think?

Rock on!
~Ann~

A dress ...

2009-11-16T10:51:00.004-05:00

Ok, so whatever. David and I have been invited to the Policeman's Ball this weekend. A bunch of our friends will be there so I'm positive it will be a super fun time.... BUT what will I wear? Obviously I have no dresses that fit my new body.

I enlisted my friend Erica to help me find a dress, who I have to say is Miss Shopper Extraordinaire! Not only does she have fabulous taste, but she is very talented at dressing other people. I was explaining to her that over the years I have lost my sense of style. When I ballooned up to a size 16/18 I lost who I was - not to mention that they just don't make super fashionable clothing for larger size women. Also, I didn't feel good about myself, so I didn't particularly care about dressing myself.

Now that I am small again, I am starting to find my fashion sense again. Erica decided that she would take me to Nordstroms. I was SO scared (LOL). I still see myself as fat and I was worried about the prices. Erica thinks nothing of spending a few hundred dollars on one item, I'm just not at the point yet. I like to live WAAAAAY below my means and I'm still petrified that I will gain all the weight back - which would make spending hundreds of dollars on a dress silly at best.

We arrived at Nordstoms and I instantly fell in love with the store. There were so many adorable things and yes, while some of the prices were high, I also found some medium and lower priced items. Let's be honest, you can spend over $100 for a dress at Express or Macy's, so I didn't think the prices at Nordstroms were all that outrageous.

Erica was all business - shopping business LOL! She picked out at least a dozen dresses for me to try on. I kept saying, I'll need at least a size 10, maybe 8 and she kept saying "Um, no, your a size 6". I was doubtful and she refused to grab any size 10's LOL!

Away we went into the dressing rooms and OMG! I found three dresses that we perfect. The first one I tried on was a size 8 BCBG and it was like heaven. It fit perfectly and was adorable. My only reservation was that I didn't think it was something I would wear again and it was "younger" looking. It was also $358 dollars *gulp*.

I ended up purchasing two dresses. The first one (pictured up top) is a Calvin Klein size 6 and has that understated sexuality about it. It hangs really nice up top. It cost $98 (since they only had the size 8 and it was too big, I had to have the size 6 shipped to my house, so that cost a bit extra).

I also purchased this one. It is an Adrianna Papell size 6 and it made me look tiny! Erica said I looked like a size 4 in this dress - um, yeah! I felt really comfortable in this dress. It fit me perfectly in all the right places, really accenting my weight and hips, which amazingly are small and the best part of my body to accent. It cost $148.

I feel that both dresses can be worn again, to a wedding or fancy dinner. I think the Calvin can also be dressed down (maybe with a pair of boots) and can be worn for a girl's night out, or dinner out with hubby. I also think the prices were extremely reasonable.

I had a really great time discovering myself again and I am eternally grateful to Erica for helping me!

(I'll post pictures next weekend. I can't wait to see which one I end up wearing!)

Rock on!

~Ann~

Things that annoy me .... People who don't vote

2009-11-03T08:28:00.003-05:00

Ok so whatever, today is election day and of course I have already voted. I am proud to say that I have never missed voting in an election - an election of any kind. Whether it be a primary, a Presidential, or even a special referendum. I have always taken the time to exercise my right to vote.

Last month, only 8% of my community showed up to vote in the primary for today's election. Today the voter turn out is expected to be some where around 20%. That means that one-fifth of our population will determine who our leaders are. That is simply disgraceful on many, many levels.

As a women, I find it absolutely disgusting that other women do not vote - choose NOT to vote. There are still places on this planet where women are not allowed to vote, where women are not given a voice, where women are beaten, raped, and even murdered if they choose to speak out. I can't imagine living in a country like that and I can't imagine being passive about voting in THIS country. It is a true liberty that we all enjoy peacefully.

Amazingly, 80% of my community will choose not to vote today, but yet they will be the first ones to complain when things go wrong. Well, what do you expect? You chose not to speak up, you chose to let other's make choices for you. How do you expect change to happen if you are not part of the change?

*shakes head*

I don't know, I think voting is sexy, so get your sexy on and go vote today (even if you write in Micky Mouse for every single office available!)

Rock on!
~Ann~

Weight Loss Update: 90 pounds

2009-11-02T07:17:00.004-05:00

Ok, so whatever. I thought I would take a moment to update you on my weight loss. *drum roll* .... I have now lost 90 pounds, yes NINETY pounds. Can you believe it?

It has been a long journey, but I feel SO much healthier, I am happier, and I think I have a better outlook on life in general. I think when you are overweight, everything else seems so much gloomier, so much more dramatic. When you feel good about yourself, there is less stress and you feel as if you can handle things better. At least this has been my experience.

Alot of people have asked me WHAT set me on my weight loss journey. I don't think there was one specific thing, but rather a perfect storm of things happening all at once. For example, my Grandfather died in November 2008 and my father-in-law was in the process of dying (he later died in March 2009). I think I really started to think about life and death and was I really living my life to the fullest or was I allowing my weight to hold me back from doing things?

Also, I went to the OB/GYN in December 2008 for my yearly check up and when I got on the scale I was at the heaviest I have ever been: 235 pounds (I can't believe I just admitted my weight). The DR didn't tell me I was overweight, or needed to lose weight. Instead she simply said "SO, are you eating right?", to which I responded "No, I'm not" (From the look on her face, I think she was a bit taken aback at my honesty). She simply said "well, that's something you need to think about" .. and that was it. THAT is what sent me over the edge.

Over the next few weeks I thought about it, looked at my eating habits and on January 26, 2009 I woke up and I was angry! Really angry that I had allowed myself to get this way. So that was the day I decided to take control and make changes. I went out and purchased a digital scale. My weight was 232 and for the first time in years, I got on the treadmill.

Now, 90 pounds later my life is completely different and I really can't imagine going back to where I was. I really enjoy exercise, in particular running. It's *MINE*, just me time. I can have just a little bit of time for myself and that makes me feel better, both physically and emotionally.

So, now I have to lose 10 more pounds to reach my goal. I have started working with weights to strengthen my core and build muscles (no, I'm not going to get muscular, but I want to get rid of the fat in specific places, like under my arms and in order to do that you need to build good muscle to replace the fat). Also, I plan to do a triathlon next summer, so I need to get stronger.

The strength training, of course, makes losing weight a bit more difficult, so I will be happy if I can lose that last 10 pounds by Christmas. Seems like a good gift to me!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Banana Peanut Butter Smoothie!

2009-11-02T07:14:00.002-05:00

Ok, so whatever. My favorite breakfast to eat before a race or a long run in bananas and peanut butter. Sometimes I slice the banana into four pieces and lather it with peanut butter and other times I make a smoothie! Here's the smoothie recipe:

1 banana, sliced
8 ounces of 1% milk
1 scoop of peanut butter
1 pinch of cinnamon.

Blend together, add ice if desired and enjoy!

Rock on!
~Ann~

It's National Blog Posting Month & Spooky Run

2009-11-01T07:34:00.004-05:00

Ok so whatever. I'm sure you are all excited that November is National Blog Posting Month, right? Well, I've decided to participate and blog once a day for the next 30 days. Well, see how THAT goes!

Yesterday I competed in my fourth 5K, a Spooky Run. Since it was Halloween, most of the runners got into the spirit of the day and dressed up. Some of the costumes were so clever, from a mail order bride to Captain America.

Before the race I decided to not get too creative with the costume, but rather to go for comfort so that I could still run and hopefully get a good time. So I was a devil. I wore all black, with devil ears, wings, and a tail. I also had a tattoo on my eye and red lipstick. I

I mistakenly thought my costume would be good for running. Um, not so much. First running in make-up is just stupid. Apparently I forgot about sweating. Second, the tail kept getting stuck between my legs, third the horns would almost fall off every time a gust came, and finally at different points in the race I kept getting hit in the face by the wings. But I survived and I had fun.

I ran this race blind, meaning I hadn't run or even walked the route before. For me this is a big no-no. I like to know the route, so I usually walk it before race day so that I know where to pace myself, where to speed up, where there are hills, etc...

I knew it was basically a flat course and was hoping to finish the race at 34:59 or below because I wanted to get into the 34's.

The race started and as usual I started off too fast. I really need to get that under control. There was no one calling time at the first mile mark (actually I never even saw the fist mile mark) so I had no idea how my pace was or if I was on target to make my goal. To make matters worse I developed a cramp from my erratic breathing and fumbling around with my costume. I was a disaster.

When I hit mile 2, I was told my time was 22:00 minutes. Um, oh no. I always really slow down for mile three, so I could be in trouble here. At this point I decided that I was going to make my goal come hell or high water and I did something I have never done in any other race - I sped up for the entire third mile. I had a really good pace going, like both feet off the floor type of pace ... and I finished at 33:48! Yiipppppeeeeee!

Obviously that is my best time yet. I don't think I will ever beat it again LOL!

Rock on!
~Ann~
(until tomorrow's post, let's see should I tell more high school stories, a college story, something catty *taps head*)

I'm Hermonie!

2009-10-29T09:04:00.002-04:00

Ok, so whatever. My friend Paula invited David and I to a Halloween party at her house. Now, first of all, I have to say her house is absolutely GORGEOUS. It's huge and decorated so perfectly. Everything about her home is amazing. I don't have that "suzy homemaker" quality about me so I am always playfully jealous of my friends who create these amazing homes and parties. I am learning, girls! I want to be like Paula when I grow up!

David and I went dressed as Harry Potter and Hermonie. OK, so I was Hermonie all grown up.... and yes my bra was hanging out all night. The dress was SO short that I could either show people my bra or my HOO HA. Pick your poison LOL!

So I decided to keep pulling the dress down all night and expose my bra *shrug*. It's not like you could see anything, it's just like a bikini top.

In the picture behind me is my friend Mike, dressed as Oscar the Grouch LOL! It was him and his wife, Wendy, who kept encouraging me to run, and taught me how to run. They have NO idea how much their kindness has meant to me. They really have helped to keep me on my weight loss and fitness track.

Mike would just keep saying "It's all in your mind, it's all in your mind"... and in my mind I would swear at him LOL! Months and months later I have come to realize that it was all in my mind, yes my body would hurt while running, but it was my mind that would quit. My body didn't need all that junk food, it was all in my mind. Now, I think if I can set my mind to it I can do absolutely anything I want to ... and it is Wendy and Mike who taught me that *sniffle*. I could never find the words to thank them enough.

I digress, back to the party. It was so much fun, until, my Grandmother called and told us that Owen had a slight fever. *SIGH*. Yep, you guessed it, we had to leave early and pick up the sickly Prince. Oh well, family comes first and there will be other parties.

Rock on!
~Ann~

The slob story

2009-10-21T06:10:00.002-04:00

Ok, so whatever. I am feeling catty this morning so I am going to tell "The Slob Story". My best friend in high school began dating this boy "J". Her mother HATED him. He was a bad boy, totally from the 'wrong side of the tracks', etc... She also began dating his best friend, another "J" and yep, her mother hated him too!

The two "J"s lived a few streets away from her, so we would hang out at her house while her mother was at work. I never really liked either of the "J"'s. One I felt was violent, the other was just stupid and um, yes they were from the wrong side of the track, but you know in high school you love to pick boys who your parents would dislike, so I understood her attraction to them.

One day the two "J"'s called me (three way calling was THE thing to have back then LOL) at home. They went on and on about how my friend was a "slob", she needed to lose weight, was messy, and pretty much tore her apart. I just listened, didn't say anything and then brushed the call off. I didn't believe she was any of those things and I certainly saw right through the two "J"s. They were just trying to cause some trouble, to stir up some shit and I wasn't going to be a part of it or fall into their trap so I decided to NOT tell me friend about that phone call.

Well, about an hour or so later I get a phone call from my "best" friend. She told me that she was just on the phone with the two "J"s and that they told her I was a "slob", needed to lose weight, was messy and a zillion other mean things. She told me it "hurt" her for someone to say that about me and what would people think of her if she was friends with a "slob who needed to lose weight".

I was pretty taken aback that she would say this to me, I couldn't even speak. So I made some excuse to get off the phone. I was really, really hurt. She obviously didn't know that the two "J"s had told me the exact same things about her and she obviously didn't see that they were just trying to cause trouble. I also questioned our entire friendship. How can you say to someone "what will people think of me" if I am friends with you? Are you kidding me? Did that mean she believed those things about me? Believed those things to be true?

Honestly, I was shocked by this entire episode, but made a choice to ignore it. I purposely stayed away from the two "J"s and didn't hang out with them anymore. I chose to forget my "best" friend said any of those things to me. I also chose to NEVER tell her that the two "J"s had said the EXACT same things about her.

Life went on and our friendship ended. In my heart I always knew it would. Deep down I knew the day of the phone calls that she wasn't really my friend. She was too selfish, too self-centered and had very different morals than I did.

Today she looks down upon me. She'll never say that, but it's the way she acts. Perhaps she still believes I am a "slob" - LOL!

Yesterday I saw her (here comes the catty part of this conversation) and she is FREAKING HUGE. She must weight over 200 pounds. Um, sweetie, who's the "slob" now?

As a side note - I would like to point out that she had sex with the two "J"s in the same day, not at the same time, but she slept with both of them just hours apart. THAT is pretty "slobby" to me and nothing I would have done back then or even now.

Part of me is almost sorry I didn't end our friendship back on the day of the phone calls. It took me another 5 years or so to do that, but I finally learned that some "friends" aren't worth having.

Rock on!
~Ann~

My Message to NEW BALTIMORE, MICHIGAN

2009-10-16T07:14:00.002-04:00

Ok so whatever. If you scroll down a bit on the right side of this blog is a "Live Feed". It shows me where people are reading my blog from. It also tracks what keywords you used on a google search to find my blog.

Someone from New Baltimore Michigan went to google and searched "scared about first 5k AND unable to run whole thing". Sweetie, I was terrified when I entered my first 5K and I was unable to run the whole thing. I ran, walked a bit, ran, walked a bit and pretty much dragged my behind across the finish line. It was SO hard when I was doing it, but once I crossed that line I felt amazing. I had accomplished something MANY people are too afraid to even try.

A 5K is a very personal thing. Out of the hundreds of people who enter there are only a handful are are there to "race". They are trying to win or get a qualifying time so they can enter a triathlon or full marathon. The rest of the people are just like you and me! They just want to succeed - and success is defined very differently for each person. My goal for the first 5K was just to cross the finish line, I succeeded. My goal for the second 5K was to run the entire thing (albeit a bit slow), I succeeded. My goal for the third 5K was to run a bit faster and beat my time, I succeeded. I succeeded and that's all that mattered to anyone. Complete strangers were happy for me that I met my goals, even though they could run the race a lot faster than me, they understand running is a very personal thing. It is what *YOU* make it.

Nobody cares if you run the entire thing, if you walk most of it, run some of it, or even skip through the entire course. This is *YOUR* race, *YOUR* challenge. You are only competing against yourself. Complete strangers will cheer you on, will congratulate you, will motivate you ... Nobody is there to judge you or compare you to other runners.

I did a race on October 4th, 2009. It was hosted by the Kruger brother's who were contestants on The Biggest Loser. Both of the brother's work at a local gym to help people reach their fitness goals, so this race drew alot of "fitness challenge teams". Each team was led by a trainer with the goal of getting each team member across that finish line. I assume this race was only a small part of their fitness plans to get healthy.

I finished the race, sat down for a bit, went to get something to eat, waited around for the official results, talked with friends, then I saw this woman wearing a black Fitness Team t-shirt. She was rounding the corner to the finish line. She was surrounded by other team members who had obviously already finished the race and went back to support her. She had to weight well over 300 pounds. She was huffing and puffing.

Other people saw her too and I watched as dozens upon dozens of complete strangers lined up all along the finish line to cheer her on. To motivate her, to clap and yell and let her know that she is doing a great job.... people who finished the race 30 minutes or more before took time to cheer her on, to let her know that she is doing a great job. THAT is what a 5K is really about - complete strangers coming together to help one another reach their own personal goals. I cried like a baby when she crossed the finish line.

So, enter that race and do your best. You absolutely can do anything you set your mind to. Set small goals for yourself and CHOOSE to succeed!

Rock on!
~Ann~

Southcoast Mom

Differing opinions

Owen's been accepted in Art Classes

50 Book Challenge: The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan

Owen's Art

50 Book Challenge: She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb

"Just take a sleeping pill, I take Lunesta"

New Year's Resolutions 2011!

50 Book Challenge: The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #1 December 31st!

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #2 Finishing a Marathon

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #3 Thirteen years of marriage!

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #4 Wendy's Video Gift!

50 Book Challenge: Smoke Screen by Sandra Brown

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #5 HFHN Track Team at BWS!

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #6 Cape Relay!

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #7 Pedicures with Emma!

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #8 Dave's 40th!

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #9 Tattoos!

50 Book Challenge: The Long Run by Matt Long

Best Moments of 2010: Moment #10 Crowd Surfing

50 Book Challenge: Innocent by Scott Turow

BOM Marathon Party!

House Rules by Jodi Picoult

Bruce Duarte, Jr. New Bedford Ward 4 City Councilor

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

The Policeman's Ball

Rub my belly

Conversations in the car ...

Spooky Run 2010

Halloween - Medeiros Style

My Tattoo, part 2.

Boo at the Zoo

HFHN TRACK - The Boston Mayor's Cup

A Morton Halloween

Random Marathon Thoughts

The Varsity Girls

Baystate Marathon 2010!

Howie - He gets cold too!

Marathon Training Log: The Video

Pete Bethune drops the dime on Paul Watson - FINALLY

HFHN Track Teams completes it's first 5K!

Is divorce contagious?

Salem WIcked Half Marathon - Wicked Indeed!

David turns 40!

Marathon Training Log: 23 Miles - Hello Tapering!

Marathon Training Log: 19.2 Miles *really*

First Day of School 2010!

Marathon Training Log: 18 Miles - A Disaster!

Constant Reader: The Virgin of the Small Plains

Coco Key!

Constant Reader

Crazy Sisiter-in-Law Story #100213548

Constant Reader: Vanishing Acts

Mom. Stop. Embarrassing. Me.

Marathon Training Log: 14 Miles

Duck Tape Jack-O-Lantern Contest

Running with Emma

Whale Wars: Paul Watson

Matching Sweaters....

Marathon Training Log: 13 Miles

A stupid horse ...

Family ...

The new carousel at Buttonwood Zoo!

Marathon Training Log: 11 Miles

The impact of a Husband & Father ....

Grumpy!

So, something happened ....

Teresa Giudice.

26.2 ... Here I come, ready or not!

Hello, Bombshell ...

Trail Running .... UGH!

Ted Buffet Party!

Newport!

Weight Loss Methods - Which is better?

Wearing a skirt makes you a slut?

I am now a Half-Marathoner (sort of)

Disaster of Epic Proportions...

The Vegetable Lasgna Story ....

The Birth of Emma ....

Marathon Training Log: 19.2 Miles really